My 100 things

After doing my first Thursday Thirteen yesterday, I've become motivated to finally do my "100 things" meme...I've put it off for a long time, but I guess it's time to give it a shot. Marie's 100 Things...

1. I was born in the Bronx, NY

2. I lived in Yonkers, NY until I was 14, when my mom and dad moved to VT to get me out of the city.

3. I'm glad that we moved, although I think there will always be a part of me that is a "city girl".

4. I've always been a person who has very few friends, but the ones I do have are incredibly special to me and I'd do almost anything for.

5. However, there were times when I was a kid that just for a few moments, I could see what it was like to be popular.

6. I loved school as a kid--still do, in some ways. (No wonder why I wasn't popular! LOL)

7. From the time I was about 6 or 7, I wanted to be a teacher.

8. I followed my childhood dream and got my teaching degree.

9. I never thought I'd leave teaching after only 5 years of full time work and only 10 years after getting my degree

10. Teaching is never what anyone thinks it is--even those who studied it in school. It's emotionally and psychologically draining--and so little about it has to do with actual instruction anymore--especially in the high schools, where I was at.

11. Even though I haven't lived in VT for 10 years, I still call it "home".

12. My father died when I was 23--two weeks shy of my college graduation.

13. Dad was an alcoholic.

14. This is why I rarely drink. I see what it did to him and my family--totally not worth it for me.

15. I have addictive tendencies (i.e. food), so drinking seems too risky for me.

16. As much as I miss my dad and as sad as I was when he passed away, there is a part of me that is...dare I say it...relieved for what happened. Dad's death gave my mom and I a chance to start over, in a way.

17. I still feel kinda guilty for that train of thought, though.

18. I've been married for 9 years--and this year has been the hardest by far. I'm pretty sure once we hit 10 years in July, it will feel like a major accomplishment. Marriage is work, no matter how long you've been together!

19. I didn't plan on getting married until I was 30...Jon changed that plan ;) He's the love of my life.

20. I didn't plan on becoming a mom until after I was married for 5 years...that plan changed, too! LOL

21. I thought it would be hard for me to have kids--WRONG---talk about Fertile Mertyl!

22. I've suffered through 2 ectopic pregnancies. I feel blessed every day that I'm still here and that I have two beautiful daughters in spite of my losses.

23. My family means the world to me, even when they drive me crazy sometimes.

24. I worry sometimes that I relate to one of my daughters more than the other...and what kind of impact that may have on my relationship with the other...

25. The past few months have been a huge struggle for me, as my best friend moved out of state. (see #4). I've felt a bit lost and out of sync.

26. I love the fact that I can call myself a writer.

27. It also scares me, too.

28. My favorite show is The West Wing--even though it is no where near the caliber it once was in its glory days (1999-2001)

29. My mom is one of my best friends. We've been through so much together and our bond is very strong.

30. I still worry about pleasing my mom and disappointing her--all the time.

31. I used to be a ballroom dancer, and a pretty good one, before I had kids.

32. I miss dancing like that, even after 7 years of being away from it.

33. I'm a weather and news junkie

34. I'm a Pisces.

35. I like my eyes

36. I think that I'm a pretty good writer--but sometimes am very afraid of sharing my work with others. Yeah, fear of rejection, I guess.

37. I'm not a great housekeeper, but I'm getting better at it!

38. I'm a decent cook, but love going out to eat.

39. I like to travel.

40. Well, I like to visit places--the travel part isn't so much fun.

41. Two of my favorite places to visit are Quebec City and Disney World.

42. I've never been to Europe and really don't care about that.

43. I might want to visit Ireland one day, to see where my dad's family came from.

44. I don't feel like I take enough time for myself most weeks

45. I still love watching Little House on the Prairie (it's on in the background right now!)

46. Fall is my favorite season

47. I looove italian food.

48. Chocolate ain't so bad, either.

49. I've always had a self-image problem. I don't know why. Really had no reason to...

50. There are times I wish I lived closer to my family.

51. I'm starting to think more about moving--and I'm sure it won't be closer to my family :(

52. There's a book inside of me just waiting to get out. I just need to give it the right key.

53. I was diagnosed as clincially depressed last year.

54. I've been on meds since then, and am having more good days than bad. I still struggle sometimes, though.

55. I've recently started to crochet.

56. I'm not crafty at all, so imagine my surprise that I'm doing ok with it.

57. My music tastes range widely--My iPod holds everything from classical, jazz, showtunes, hip-hop, oldies, disco, country, rap, 80s...you name it, it's on there.

58. I need a vacation really badly--14 days and counting!

59. I'm a little stressed, though, with our upcoming vacation. Travelling with two kids on a plane. A first for us.

60. I dream of winning the lottery, so that I wouldn't worry so much about money all the time.

61. I won 15 dollars in Powerball yesterday--dreams have gotta start somewhere, right?

62. I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year.

63. My favorite color is teal

64. I don't consider myself a morning person, but notice that when I get up a bit earlier than usual, I'm much more productive during the day.

65. I'm teaching myself html.

66. I'm also working on learning more about my digital camera and photography. Lots of reading, lots of picture taking.

67. I've been trying to grow my hair out for months--and I'll probably wind up chopping it all off again because my hair is too damn frizzy!

68. My dream house is a large ranch house--with everything on one floor.

69. I love my current house, but wouldn't mind redecorating some of the rooms.

70. Martha Stewart I am not, though--see #56. So, it's little bits at a time...

71. I have a goal to write 50,000 words next month.

72. I spoil myself by going to get a massage and/or facial. I'm not a girlie-girl at all, but looove being pampered.

73. I'm almost 35 and proud of it!

74. I bite my nails. I've tried to stop--hasn't worked so far.

75. My girls bite their nails and I'm trying to get them to stop, too.

76. I enjoy watching some of the silly shows my daughters watch on Nickelodeon (i.e. Drake and Josh).

77. Day lilies are my favorite flowers.

78. I enjoy Twinkies every now and then....another guilty pleasure.

79. I'm laughing at Spongebob right now. OMG, I think I've sunk to a new low.

80. I love playing video games.

81. I especially love beating Jon when playing video games.

82. Have I mentioned that I am competitive? ;)

83. I've been on an orange juice kick lately. Yummy!

84. Pizza is a food sent from the Gods.

85. Speaking of God, I'm a Roman Catholic

86. Although, I wonder sometimes if I'm in the right "religion" or if there is even such a thing.

87. I believe in God and in Jesus Christ, but there's so much I don't get about my faith.

88. The whole confession thing...I don't need a middle man to let God know I screwed up. And saying a few prayers ain't gonna make things better. I gotta take responsibility and take action for the wrongs I've committed against myself, others and God.

89. This will probably cause some interesting conflicts since Cailyn is preparing for her first confession in December. How will I answer her questions? Will I go to confession to support her?

90. Also, the decree against birth control? (*laughing hysterically*)

91. Despite my questions, I have always been fascinated with the Bible and what God's word can teach me about myself, Him and Jesus.

92. I wish I read more than I do. I read very quickly, which annoys Jon no end--but I still don't find myself reading the way I did before I had kids.

93. Jon says that I need to put in that I'm "Ultrasexy"...so, please tell him I did, ok?

94. I'm actually a little miffed that Jon read The DaVinci Code before I got to it (I promised that I'd finish last month's book club book first).

95. My favorite drink: ice cold milk

96: Frozen Mudslides are good, too! (that, along with frozen raspberry daquiri's are what I make exceptions to drinking for).

97. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 20 years old!

98. I once had a lead role in the musical "Oliver!"--as Fagin (who is very much a male!) Actually had to tape down my developing chest at the time. What artists won't do for their art, huh?

99. After almost a 10-year hiatus, I'm going to be back on the stage in about 4 weeks in "Oklahoma". I'll be playing Aunt Eller.

100. My favorite saying when things get tense: "It just doesn't matter!"

*New!* Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about ME The ol' body has finally said "Gimme a break". I've come down with a lovely head cold. Compounded with the yearly bout of seasonal allergies/asthma and my monthly visitor, this week has been a bummer. Feeling better today, but have basically done nothing...which makes me feel on edge. I am participating in the 2005 NaNoWriMo competition. (you'll see the neat little icon under my profile). What is NaNoWriMo? I think it's another word for insanity, but, in reality it's a group of people who sign up to commit to writing 50,000 in a month. Yes, you read that correctly--50,000 words. I have no assignments due in November, so I thought this might be a good way for me to just say "to hell with my perfectionism--JUST WRITE, DAMN IT!". I'm not sure how I'm gonna make the goal, since I'm on vacation the first week and have musical performances in the second week, but I'm going for it. Interested in finding out more about this crazy adventure? Click on this link www.nanowrimo.org Two weeks from today, I'll be getting ready to pick the family up for our overnight trip to Boston and then on to Orlando, FL early the next day out of Logan. Cailyn has packed already (I'm afraid to see what's in her suitcase). I have my lists, but haven't started packing just yet. The goal: pack lightly and leave the kitchen sink at home LOL I'm 5 foot, 6 inches tall I have red hair--and the disposition that goes with it--sometimes...Used to hate my hair color, but now I love it. Although, the natural curls are a mixed blessing. Fall is my favorite season. "Sweater weather" I like to call it. As one who hates extreme heat and extreme cold, this time of year is ideal!!! Been having strange dreams about babies lately. NO NO--I'm not pregnant nor do I want another one--besides, Jon and I have officially removed ourselves from the gene pool. We have two healthy girls and after losing to pgs, well...I don't see the need to risk my life..Besides, the two I have are plenty of handful for us. So, been trying to figure out what the hell this dream means.. I have plans to make some of my Xmas gifts this year, but can't seem to get any of the crochet projects started correctly--having to pull out the rows. Probably due to lack of attention, I'm sure... My favorite color is teal--has been forever, I think... I'm going to be 35 in March and I have no fear or shame in it. However, I am noticing more lines and quite a bit more grey hair...which is NOT fun. My daughters are showing excellent taste in music. As I drove them to swim lessons at the YWCA yesterday, I had my iPod plugged into my car stereo. Queen's "We Will Rock You/We are the Champions" came on and there are my two princesses in the back seat, fists in the air and singing right along. ;) No bubblegum teenybop stuff for them---ok, well, they like Britney Spears' Baby One More Time (which is also on my iPod *ducks for cover* A guilty pleasure; I confess!) I'm having a craving for chinese food--Thursdays seem to be the day that we order chinese--don't know why. At first it was just a coincidence we noticed back when Jon and I were without kids...Since the kids, we haven't done it as much, but every once in a while, the mood will strike--and it's always on a Thursday. Weird. I drive a Grand-Am. Used to have a Mini-Van, but when the time came to get a newer car, I decided I wanted a car that I could still take the kids in, but look kinda cool in, too. Shallow, yep...but, I love my ride. Now, if I could only get the kids to stop filling it up with their crap! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Momma K's 13 2. Distant Shore's 13 (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

New study re-ignites debate over child care - Nightly News with Brian Williams - MSNBC.com

New study re-ignites debate over child care - Nightly News with Brian Williams - MSNBC.com The child care debate rages on and I have to start wondering what the real purpose behind all of this is. According to experts (whatever that is), the best interest of the children are at the core of this battle. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for that. I'm even willing to go so far as to say that many of the results from studies such as the one mentioned above are worthwhile. Ultimately, though, what comes out of studies like this is further backlash against working moms--and this is what pisses me off no end. To reduce study results down to the level where people can't point fingers and say, "This is what causes kids to have problems" tries to tie a complicated issue into a nice, neat little package. If only we could point to one (or even just a few things) and say, "THIS" is what has the greatest impact on our children, parents across the world would rejoice and declare a national holiday. Unfortunately, that's never going to happen, because we're talking about people here, who come from a variety of backgrounds and family situations. There is no way to find one or just a few common denominators. Childcare has become a necessity. Many (if not most) parents put their kids in child care because they have to, not because they want to kick back and let someone else raise their kids. In today's economic climate, a two income family has changed from a luxury to the only way many of them can afford to keep a roof over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their back. The effects of childcare should be studied--as a parent, I want to know what the system is doing, overall, to look out for the welfare of my child. However, those results should not be swung back at me to make me feel like I'm breaking the first commandment of good parenting. The results should be studied by parents, teachers and those in the government to see how the childcare system can be improved and what ways can be implemented to better support parents and teachers of children who are in our care. I am a parent who has had the fortune of seeing both sides of this issue: Cailyn is the product of being in daycare full time until she went to school. Erin was in day cares off and on for a while, and then I stayed home with her until she started preschool this year. I can use Cailyn as an example of how to disprove many of the assertions made in this study. At the risk of sounding like a biased mom, I won't go into all of them. The bottom line is that, for Cailyn, daycare was a blessing. She got to interact with children her own age, got to know other adults in her life besides her father and myself, began to understand structure and rules in a group setting and had opportunities to go places and see things that I probably wouldn't have had the chance to share with her. Erin had a hard time fitting into her first daycare, but once we found the right place for her, she blossomed as well. Currently, she is in full time preschool and adores it. Every child is different, just as every day care is different. A good match is hard to find, and that is our responsiblity, as parents, to really go out there and do the research if a child has to go into daycare. Finding a good match could possibly alleviate a number of the problems cited in this study. Better funding (especially where government mandates are concerned), and more community and family involvement are other potential solutions. These are the things that should be addressed. Instead, many areas of the media and various child experts would rather focus on the results only and stress how bad it is for kids to be in daycare. Yes, there are problems, but they aren't with the parents who have to rely on others to help care of their children while they work to pay the bills. Our problem is much larger than that: it's a society that finds it easier to make judgements than find solutions.

What's going on in 5 minutes or less

Before I blow out the door to head to my daughter's classroom for volunteering, I thought I'd give a brief update on how life in Maine has been going. Since it's been a while since my last post, it will come as little surprise that things have been busy. 1. Jon was called out of town--again!--for training in Cinci. Girls and I are enjoying our "Mom and Daughters week". He'll be returning late Friday night. 2. My new theme song should be "On the Road Again" (if you're reading this, Mom, I know I'm stealing it from you, but too bad!!! LOL). Between volunteering at Cailyn's school, lessons for the girls (swim/gymnastics), musical rehearsal for me and travel for work, I seem to be out of the house more than in it lately. 3. Despite the fact that we're never home, the house still seems to get and stay messy. Incredible...and unfair, really. 4. I'm working on a plan to rid the house of the junk that makes it messy...and blowing up the place isn't it (my insurance company wouldn't take too kindly to that...). There are millions of people who keep a great looking house--just wish that I could, too. 5. The TV experiment keeps on going! Weekends are pretty much a free-for-all, but even then, the kids are watching less of it. The weekdays are still going well: then again, we're not home very much during the week, so that is a huge help to me! LOL 6. Got an email last night from the editor of Toy Shop magazine, whom I queried about publishing a reprint of an article I wrote on a miniature toy soldier collector here in Freeport. He loved the story and has accepted my proposal. All that's left is signing the contract, taking a few pictures of my subject and his collection and sending it in!! My first "national magazine" and from what I can see, it has a substantial following, too. I'm tapping on the glass ceiling of magazines, folks. 7. Will be pretty busy for the paper over the next few weeks/months. Re-starting my gaming series, which is what I won my award for a few weeks ago. Between that and special sections, I should have work through the holidays. 8. I do plan on submitting a short story to a contest in December...no luck on my last contest entry, but that won't stop me. 9. I've gone past my five minute mark, but actually sitting down to write feels pretty good, so I think I'll keep going! LOL 10. We're leaving for Orlando in 3 weeks! I cannot wait!! More details on that, soon! Ok, I do need to go...I have to be at the school in 10 minutes! Until later, me

New Pictures

We took the girls on a picnic yesterday. Fall is finally starting to make an appearance. It's my favorite time of the year. Comfortable days, cool nights. Perfection. So, we got out to enjoy the day. Hard to believe looking at this picture that they can fight so much. Sisterhood.... Jon and Erin had some fun on the swings. I absolutely love this shot of Cailyn. I managed to catch her between her primping and preening to get a picture that really captures her.

Surprise, Surprise...

I mentioned last post that I've been dragging my feet lately when I comes to my writing...self-doubt, fears, etc. Won't get into the whole thing. Jump to today: I read in the online version of the Sun Journal that the paper won 43 Maine Press Association awards. "Cool!" I think and then decide to go to the MPA website to see who won (and mostly how many of them I know! LOL). So, I click to the site and scroll over/down to this: Click here and then scroll down to the first Weekend 1 listing (under Arts/Lifestyle story) There, among names I know and respect, I saw MY NAME! WTF?? I stared for at least a minute or two, thinking, "I'm seeing things." I called Jon and asked him to tell me what he saw. Indeed, it was my name. He asked if I even knew about the nomination. I had to stop and think for a moment. Eventually, I remembered that Ursula, one of my editors, did tell me months ago that she would be submitting one of my story packages...kinda said, "Whatever" and didn't think much of it... Until today. This development has caused me to stop and think...I'm not sure what to think about the award--3rd place is incredible and I'm so humbled...and wonder how the heck my name got there among these people that I know... Unless, I really am a writer--this is no fluke. Maybe I need to start acting like it, huh?

Catching Up

Today feels like one of those catch up days. You know, those days when you know you've let things go a little and suddenly there's this "Oh, Shit!" moment that drags you kicking and screaming back into reality. Lots of little things to catch up on today, and my blog was one of them, so here I am. My updates will be in no particular order; if I wander aimlessly, I accept it and admit it wholeheartedly. 1. The Experiement Update: It's been about two weeks since the start of my great "limit TV" experiment. A few of you have asked how's it turned out. Believe it or not, we're still going pretty strong. The weekends are hard, because there is just so much for time to plan around; so Jon and I are working on fixing that. However, during the week, I must say that the girls are watching about a 1/4 of the TV they were before school started. Between their lessons, and the other things I've been planning, they just don't have the time to watch it. But, when they do, they truly enjoy it now. (as do I, for the break). They are also a lot more subdued than they were when they were just sitting in front of the tv all afternoon. Could some of those studies be true about how tv affects kids? I'm not jumping fully onto that bandwagon, just yet, but I do notice some changes in the girls. This is especially true at bedtime. Before, the girls would watch tv right up until bedtime, and then getting them down to bed was a chore because they were bouncing all over the place, didn't want to turn the thing off, etc. But, now, the tv goes off a 1/2 hour before Erin's bedtime and what a difference it's made. Oh, there are still some nights that are a challenge, but overall (I'd say about 80% of the time), Cailyn and Erin settled down much quicker than before, and are getting to sleep a little earlier--which makes them less grumpier in the morning. Thank heaven for small miracles. I have been running ragged, though, by keeping the girls entertained and not giving into the temptation of letting them watch what they want/when they want it. So far, then, I'd have to say the Experiment has been rather successful. Who'd a thunk it? 2. With all of this work being a mom, I haven't had a lot of time for writing. Jon was gone most of last week, so that left precious little time. And, once I get out of the habit of doing something, it can be so hard to climb back in the saddle. Still, I'm determined to keep at it. 3. I've been taking Ambien for quite a while--when I started my antidepressants, actually, it's been almost a year. Insomnia runs in my family like a race horse, and since I became a mom for the second time, it finally caught up with me. After a couple of years of suffering with little sleep, I caved in and got some help. The Ambien has worked well, but lately, I've noticed that I'm very groggy in the morning and it takes me a long time to bounce back. So, I quit taking the meds--cold turkey. Supposedly, this is supposed to make me do some wacky shit. While I have had some wacky dreams, and some up and down nights, overall, I've been fine. I'm pretty tired right now, but last night was the first decent night's sleep I've had in days. Maybe I can do it without the drugs. The antidepressant, well, that's another story. Let's not be hasty about that ;) 4. More pictures from me: As I was coming home from an interview/photo shoot over the weekend, I drove up a hill in the "extremely nice" (i.e.: rich) part of Auburn. As I crested the hill, a sight caught my eye that I just had to stop and get: This is a view of Lewiston, Maine, Auburn's "twin city". I can say with relative certainty that those who live (or have lived) in this area would tell you that Auburn is the nicer of the two, for a variety of reasons. Lewiston is trying to make a comeback, though, both economically and visually. Still, when I saw this view of Lewiston, I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked from my vantage point. Guess it goes to show that beauty is all about from where you look. Looking at this shot, I think the city has some potential... Maybe I need to go around to other places in my hometown and see what beauty is out there. It's so easy to take things for granted. Ok, enough soapbox from me...I gotta get busy! Have a great day all!

The Last Rose of Summer

I believe this will be the last bloom on my rosebush until next year. When I got home from dropping the girls off at school, it was too beautiful to just walk by--so, I figured instead of just stopping to smell the roses, I'd capture it so I could hold onto it for more than just a few days. Same bloom below, except I'm playing with shadows, settings and color (or lack thereof, in this case). I have a confession to make about my roses. Friends who have seen my roses this year (and in years before) have asked what my secret is. Heck, I was even hired to ghostwrite an ebook on growing roses. ME! My secret: ignore the blasted things. Nature is a fascinating thing. Jon and I have tried to grow other flowers in this side area of the house--everything dies. The rose bushes we planted, though, have grown bigger and heartier every year. We cut them back in the winter or early spring. We don't cover them. We don't water them. We don't feed them. Heck, we don't even weed that much.They grow like the dickens. I think it's Mother Nature's way of reminding us poor schmucks that she doesn't need our help. After writing over 80 pages on the history and care of roses, I figure out that I could have summed it up in three words. Leave Them Alone. Somehow, I doubt that would have sold very well, though.

The Experiment

This could be the true test that determines whether or not I need a nice little trip to a room without a view and has rubber walls in a nice shade of pink... The insanity of the last few weeks of summer brought to light a number of things about how things in our home are going. I noticed that both of my children were watching a lot of tv and while my husband and I spent time with the girls, it wasn't quality time. Also, Cailyn and Erin, who once knew how to occupy themselves other than watching the boob tube, decided that it was better to argue over who was watching what rather than playing. The end of the summer came and with school starting, it seemed like the best time to try a different approach to life in the Rossiter house. Some may see it as micrmanaging, but for now at least, I consider it simply some much needed structure. The experiment is limiting my girls to only an hour and a half of tv a day--combined. Most days, it shouldn't be too hard, as Cailyn has lessons twice a week and Erin once (Wednesdays/Fridays). That will keep the majority of the school week busy. That still leaves three days of the week to keep my two active daughters from killing each other and driving me nuts. ;) So, in true planning form, I've come up with how our afternoons are going to go for the next few weeks: From 3:30 to 4 the girls can watch TV when they have their snack. At 4:00 we either play a game, do an activity/craft or go out (park, library, etc). By 5, we're back and making dinner. After dinner, the girls have their hour--then it's tv time for their hour. By 7, Cailyn has HW time and Erin gets ready for Bed By 8, Erin is asleep and Cailyn gets ready for bed Lastly, it's reading time for Jon, me and Cailyn. Bedtime for Cailyn at 8:30 It sounds pretty simple, but it isn't easy to break old habits. Still, it's been a week and we've managed ok. Jon's in Tennessee for the week, so I'm on my own. Sigh...bad timing to get this up and going. How will The Experiment turn out? Check back and see how we survive with only a fraction of the tv that we're used to. :)

School Days, School Days

Over the past few days, it probably appeared as though I was more than excited for the girls to start school. Ecstatic may be the better word, but there are a variety of reasons, other than the obvious that I will now have the house to myself for six hours a day. However, while I may have been ecstatic for this blessed day, I believe that Cailyn and Erin were bordering on the hysterical. Getting them to sleep last night was a challenge and they were so hyped out that, believe it or not, getting them out the door wasn't so easy, either. Still, we had time to do the traditional first day of school pictures.... First, I wanted to go back and see the pics from the past few years of this--just of Cailyn of course. Here's what I found... August 2003: Cailyn's First Day of Kindergarten. Looking all school-girl in her sweater and plaid skirt, Cailyn was just thrilled to have the backpack and Barbie lunchbox. This is the big time! September 1, 2004 "Mom, I'm a big kid now..." With outfit picked out weeks before hand and a new pair of glasses (which, of course, she's not wearing in the picture), Cailyn announced the she was growing up--as if I couldn't tell from just looking at her. As I took this shot, I had flashes of middle school--and shuddered. I had to remember she was only going into the first grade... August 31, 2005: Sassy Second Grader. I have to say that is one of the prettiest "non professional" shots of Cailyn I've seen. She granted my wish of no fooling around during the quick pictures I took this morning. When I saw the picture after dropping her off, I was floored at what a lovely young lady she's becoming. August 31, 2005: Erin's FIRST day of school. Some may not see preschool as the real deal, but around here, it is. This is the first of many years of school pictures for my "baby". She had just taken a tumble before the shot, while trying to put her backpack on (remarkably, it only had a change of clothes and isn't as heavy as it looks). Still, she took a tumble in her excitement and got her feathers ruffled a bit. So, she still looks a bit upset in this shot. August 31, 2005: School Day Sisters Their excitement is so obvious here. Picture pretty much says it all. Both were dropped off without incident, by either myself or them!!! Parents will mulling about both at elementary school and preschool. Cailyn's teacher already had work on their desk to get them started (as a former teacher, I have to say, I like her style) and Erin basically put her items in her cubby, found the puzzle table and told me to get lost--not literally, but close enough. No tears for any of us. A huge relief. And, no skid marks on the pavement as I pulled the car away ;)

Some new pictures--Updated on Monday

First and foremost, I know I mentioned this here yesterday, but please, please, send out your prayers, well wishes or whatever good vibes you can to the people that will be affected by Hurricane Katrina. Even for a weather freak like me, this shit is scary stuff. Of course, I'll be watching before I go to bed to see the latest, but with winds over 160 mph, this storm means business. I just hope that everyone down there can get to somewhere safe. Ok, I've been taking a bunch of shots of the girls over the past few weeks playing. One of the things I'm learning as a budding photographer is to try to catch the little ones in thier element; this supposedly makes a better picture than posed ones. Personally, I have to agree with that, since whenever I try to either Cailyn or Erin to stand still for a shot, it's either impossible because they move or they make stupid faces. Anyway, here's some of the shots I've taken--see what you think: I caught Cailyn as she was climbing up on the playset. Didn't give her enough time to look silly. This picture says a lot about her. A bundle of contradictions: playful, yet serious; young in age, old in soul. No, I didn't put the girls in jail. They kept running back and forth on this grating on the playset, and I thought, "Hmm, could be an interesting shot. Came out looking like a prison photo--but, I think it's still kinda cool. Plus, they thought it was a riot. This is exactly what I'm talking about above. If they know the camera is there, this is what I usually get. Ah, yes, the genteel Rossiter girls. I liked the shadows and light on this one--and I decided to convert it to black and white--made a huge difference!

A Weather Geek's Dream...

As those who are close to me know, I inherited a keen interest in weather from my father. Up until he died, Dad loved to listen to local weather, to keep track of the ever-changing weather in Vermont. When I was a kid, I gave him shit for it. Now, he's passed it on in some evil form of revenge from the after-life. For those of you who live down South, I really hope that Hurricane Katrina doesn't turn out to be as bad as they say. Needless to say, when one of these storms comes a knockin', I love tracking it and seeing its life-cycle. During one of my regular checks of weather.com, I discovered that they now have a blog! Let us have a moment of reverence, please LOL. Yes, I know I'm a freak... Seriously, my thoughts and prayers are with those in Louisiana, Mississippi and Florida. The closest I've come to a hurricane was twice: the first when I was a kid and a hurricane (I believe it was David in 1979) came through NY and then another one came through and actually reached Vermont when I was a freshman in college. We stood on our balcony and felt the wind and rain whip across campus. Of course, by the time it hit the mountains, it was nothing compared to what it had been when it made landfall originally--still, for Vermont, it was a big deal. Other than my dad's interest, I'd have to say that my border-line obsession with the weather began when I lived in Ohio. I discovered rather quickly that there are storms of an entirely differently breed. Weather changed suddenly in Vermont sometimes, but at least I didn't have to worry about twisters falling out of the sky at less than a moment's notice. Thunder was biblical in volume out there in the flatlands, wall-shaking and cause ya to hide under the bed loud. It took me years back on the East coast to get over my "thunderstormaphobiia". But, the weather monitoring has stuck and now, I actually have friends who will consult me for the updates. Maybe that's a clue that I need to get out a little more. And when I do get around to going out, at least I'll know whether or not I'll need an umbrella!

Everything (ok, not really) that you wanted to know about me...

A blatant rip-off of Sheri's last blog post. Nothing like a little "me-me" to get that self absorption out of the way! Still, these were some of the better questions I've seen in these things: 1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? It depends on what kind of mirror. If it's a "regular" mirror, it's usually my eyes. They can always reveal how I'm feeling: tired, happy, sassy... If it's a full-length mirror, it's the lower half of my body--which I then turn away from because I hate it!!! 2. How much cash do you have on you right now? Nothing. I'm in my pj's! But, I think I have about a buck fifty in my pants pocket. Jon raided the money earlier to get some fresh veggies down the street. 3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? ingest 4. Favorite plant? Lilac Bushes 5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? No idea; I rarely check the thing...but, if I had to guess, it would be one of the Athletic Directors from the schools I had to do photo shoots at this past week. 6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? Handel's "Spring" from The Four Seasons. (used to be "The West Wing" theme, until we switched phones and now I can't get it!!! Damn, damn, damn! But, I keep lookin' and prayin'! ha ha ha) 7. What shirt are you wearing? My favorite comfy nightshirt. Light blue, well wash-worn, lavender and blue butterflies. It looks silly but feels great on! 8. Do you "label" yourself? Yes, constantly. 9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? Right now, I'm barefoot. But, I just bought a pair of New Balance sneakers (actually, two pairs--big sale at the mall: Buy one get one 50% off. I usually buy cheap-ass sneakers, but Jon finally convinced me to get some decent sneaks). 10. Do you prefer a bright or dark room? Darker is better, if I'm looking to relax. But, if I'm working, it needs to be kinda bright... 11. What did you have for breakfast? A bowl of Honey Combs and some raisin toast. 12. Since question 12 is weirdly missing, make some shit up. Holy crap, I didn't know I'd have to be creative with this? WTF? Ok, My favorite drink is a frozen mudslide (yeah, sissy drink) and I've never been drunk in my life. 13. What were you doing at midnight last night? In bed with a man who's core temperature must be 20 degrees colder than mine---he's cold, I'm hot!! But, at least he was giving me a back rub! 14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? Don't do text messaging on my cell. Shit, I'm still bad at talking and driving sometimes (I know! Bad Marie!) Can you image the damage I'd do trying to type and drive? Come on! 15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? Nope 16. What's an expression that you say a lot? "Ya think?" (thanks to West Wing, again...) 17. Who told you they loved you last? Cailyn, as I was tucking her into bed. 18. Last furry thing you touched? Hmmmmm........ 19. How many hours a week do you work? Too many to count. I'd get too depressed, even with working from home. 20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? Zero. Got me a nice digital camera and haven't looked back. 21. Favorite age you have been so far? I'd have to say 23 for too many things I can't mention in a me-me. 22. Your worst enemy? Myself 23. What is your current desk top picture? Photo I took of a sunset across the street from my house. It was the first picture I took and said, "Hmm, maybe there's something to this photography thing..." 24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Have you heard from our sitter if she's watching Erin on Sunday?" 25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to go back in time and fix all your mistakes which would you choose? I'd probably say the money, because there's no way I could, or even want to change, all of the mistakes I've made. Without those mistakes, I wouldn't be the person I am today. And, while somedays I think that might not be a bad thing, when I stop to think about it, I have to admit that I'm an interesting person.

That time of the....year

Yes folks, let's get ready to rumble!!!! Are you ready? I've been waiting for months to see this on TV: "They're going back!!!" This is one of my all-time favorite spots! After my TV Savant husband did a little research to find this for me, since I haven't seen it in our neck of the woods on TV, yet, we discovered that this little gem has been around since around 1994!!!! Apparently, Staples has Alice Cooper doing a new ad for them this year, so I may not see my top commercial this year :( Will have to settle for this blub on the net. When this came out in Sept of 94, I was starting my 12-month Masters program in BG. Even though I didn't have kids at the time, I still chuckled at the ad. Now, I have a totally new appreciation for the man gliding down the aisle in back to school bliss (especially since I'm not teaching anymore!!! LOL) So, to all the parents out there, I say, enjoy this most festive season of the year--we've earned it!! ;) I actually have 6 days to go until they go back---but, I'm not counting at all. I mean, come on, I'm not down to ticking off the hours and minutes... Yet....;) Have a good one!

One of those quizzy-things...

All right, All right...I know that's not the most technical of terms, but it's all for fun, right? I usually don't post these things because they're just silly. But, in my brain-break from my latest article, I was playing with these quizzes online and stumbled onto this one. The result nailed me, figuratively speaking, of course. So, go ahead. Give it a try. You know you want to...It's only 30-mindless seconds of your life--that you used up trying to determine how you live your life. How odd is that, huh? LOL

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Human emotions are complicated things. I think this is especially true regarding women. This is not meant to be sexist or degrading to one gender or the other. Men and women both have challenges when it comes to dealing with feelings. It's just that women have so many triggers that it can be almost impossible to predict what she's feeling at any given time are any of the men that may be reading this jumping for joy at this admission? [remember, this is only my opinion--and I am no expert. There, my disclaimer is done :)] A good example of what I mean happened yesterday: I went to church yesterday to sing with the choir (i'm a regular member, but we usually take summers off). It was a special occasion yesterday: our priest, Father Drew, is moving up to another position after being with our church for five years. Fr. Drew is a relatively young, energetic and amusing guy who took a stodgy parish and actually lightened things up a bit. Granted, I am the youngest on the choir--except during school breaks from college. Still, the church is suffering a huge loss. So, to show our gratitude, the choir performed programs at both AM masses on Sunday. Our accompianist even composed some music for the event--a gift, because that man is extraordinarily talented. As the 8:30 AM Mass started, a feeling of sadness cascaded down upon me. I got to know Fr. Drew pretty well, but I wouldn't say we're close. But, the pending departure, the beautiful music and PMS all combined to make me a sniffling mess. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I wondered what brought this on. Half way through the Mass, it came to me: I'm feeling abandoned and alone. The past month or so has brought a lot of change in my life--most of it being departures. My best friend moved away, family and friends have come to visit and then have left, my husband is working a lot of hours and will be going away again for business travel. I have a number of acquaintances, but haven't made the firm connections that I've discovered I need. I know I'm never truly alone. There are many people in my life that are only a phone call away, but it's not quite the same. Yesterday just felt like the straw that broke the camel's back. People in my life that I figured were constants are taking off in new directions. I'm an incredibly lucky person. I have a job that I love and a beautiful family. So, why the sadness and frustration? I'm sure that future friendships are in the wings--but waiting can be so hard...

Your eyes do not decieve...

Before you think that you've

• gone crazy
• developed a problem with your eyesight
• had too much to drink
• spent too many hours looking at Blogger

Rest assured, none of those are true (wait, I don't know that for sure...) Anyway, I have changed my blog template around a number of times over the past week. There was a point today where I thought I was going to have to start all over again with a new blog and lose all my posts of the past 6 1/2 months.

But, in true geek fashion of mine, I've read through books that I purchased, surfed the net and ran through the template feature on this damn site with trial and error until I got the template design that I want. There are still a few tweaks that I want to fix, but the essence is finally there.

I'm becoming more knowledgeable of webcode than my husband; there really is something wrong with me at times ;).

There is also a name change for the blog, but I'm not sure that I'm keeping it. Jon thinks I'm betraying my "Mythbusters" alliance with the blog title change....but, change can be good.

Night!

Shit Happens....

Better late than never...Sorry for the delay, but I still haven't found a way to make a day last more then 24 hours, even with only sleeping for 40-minute intervals on a given night ;) Thursday was one of those days that make me wonder about people, in general. First, Thursday was the first of two days where I was scheduled to take photos for the paper--it's High School Fall Sports time again, and one of my responsibilities is to take pictures of various teams. The past two years, I've only had one school. This year, though, I was asked to do three schools. My first reaction--big payday! When reality set in, I figured out that this was going to be a scheduling nightmare. I have both girls home with me now until school starts (in 10 days, but who's counting!), so I had two "assistants" with me for my photo assignments. I must say that with all the driving around and appointments, they were excellent. Over the course of the day, I had been stood up a couple of times for shoots. Coaches simply forgot their appointments!! I'm left high and dry with my camera, miles on my car and two kids in the back seat. That was the first frustration of the day. I tried to remain calm and cool, though--keeping in mind that things happen... After going back and forth from 9am to 4pm, this thinking started to wear thin. There were a number of down times in between assignments: too short a period to go home, but too long to just sit and wait at the location. Off the girls and I drove in the car to find something to occupy the time. I had a moment of genius when I recalled a playground near one of the high schools. The girls were absolutely thrilled and I was glad that I tossed a book in the car to read. As soon as we stopped, the girls rushed out of the car and raced to the play structure, a large and quite nice one for the area. The girls are squealing with delight, so I wasn't entirely sure that I heard the other lady correctly as she called out to me. "Excuse me. Don't let the girls go down the middle slide. A kid just left her and she shit all over it!" I thought I was hearing things. "What?" "Yeah, a mom just let her kid shit on the slide. Kid sat in it and slid all the way down. There's big stripes, see?" I didn't want to see. But, a mixture of disbelief and disgusting curiosity compelled me to to step over to the slide. Sure enough, the blue slide had an unappealing brown tinge to it. Oh....My.....God... What does one say in a situation like this? I glance sideways at the woman, whose daughter just kept right on going down the middle slide. "Um, thanks for the warning." I turn on my heel and scream. "GIRLS, DON'T YOU DARE GO NEAR THAT SLIDE!" We were only there for about 25 minutes and then we were off to another appointment. We're not in the car for 2 minutes and suddenly, I catch a slight whiff....no no no no no no... "Did one of you go down the slide that I told you to stay away from?" I snapped. Cailyn quickly claimed innocence and Erin followed suit. Like some mother dog, I sniffed around toward the back seat. Then, I managed to lift them out of their booster seats to see if either of them had an...um...evidence on their backsides. Nope. The only thing I could figure was that one of them stepped in some of it. It's bad enough to step in dog poop, but people poop--well, there are some things that moms shouldn't have to prepare for when going to the playground. I understand about accidents. Hell, they happen. But, the mother sat in the car, about 100 feet away, while the kid played, and shit upon, the playground. Lovely. Somehow, I found wipes in my glove compartment and told the girls to start scrubbing down. Even I did a full wipe down. The girls got thrown in the tub as soon as we got home--adding to a long day. The next day, it's more of the same: more driving and more waiting for the girls. This time, I take them to another playground. Once again, the girls are thrilled to go play. But, mid-run, Erin stops and looks over shoulder at me. "Mommy? Is there poopy on the slide?" They're fast learners at least. After a quick glance, I gave the all clear. I may never look a slide the same way again...

More pics from the budding photographer!

The Great Falls Balloon Festival is this weekend and this is what I woke up to this morning at 6:30!! I sent the pics into the paper and they put them in their gallery. http://www.sunjournal.com/specialsection/balloon05/gallery/index.php I'll post more later about my photography adventures over the past two days...I'll give you a little clue, though...I'm gonna call my post "Shit Happens". Curious, yet?

Rossiter's Relativity Theory of Pediatric Wellness

I think I have found the next subject I'm going to start querying about to major publications in the print media. This one is sure to get me national coverage--medical stories are hot these days. I've formulated my own medical theory about kids. Taking after the proven scientific method, this theory isn't original; rather, an examination of thoughts considered over many years and summarized so well, that someone can just step up and take claim to it. It's my turn in the spotlight everyone. Rossiter's Relatvity Theory of Pediatric Wellness. Sounds all technical and snazzy. The basic concept, though, is very simple: Sick children show increased signs of improving health the closer the proximity to the doctor's office. This theory will probably not be looked upon with favor from the pediatric pharmecuetical companies--after all, it could put them out of business. Why dump a ton of money on Children's Tylenol(tm), Advil(tm), Triaminic(tm) and all that other stuff? Hell, my kids don't even have to be seen by a doctor. I could avoid the co-pays altogether. According to my theory, I simply drive up to the pediatrician's office, walk inside and sit in the waiting area. My kids are cured! Miraculous. I have a long list of documentation to support my theory, but in the interest of time (and your sanity), I will provide only one example to support my case: I drove down to Portland to pick up Mary and her son, Micah, from the airport . Erin's in her booster seat, listening to her Dora the Explorer CD. Typically, this kid talks non-stop. She was practically silent the entire 40-minute trip. "You ok, Erin?" "My tummy hurts." [SIDENOTE:To show my non-biasedness, I will concede that Erin has hypochondriactic tendencies. This is the only kid I know who LIKES going to the doctor and usually has no issue with taking medication. Most times, when she says she has a boo-boo or is "sick", she's messing with us] Something about her today, though, seemed off. Still, other than being quiet, she seemed ok. We got to the airport and waiting for the plane's arrival. "Mommy, my tummy hurts." I patted her head and told her all would be fine. Well, by the time we picked up our friends and got to the car, Erin was pale, crying hysterically, grabbing her stomach and saying, "OW! OW!". WTF? We load her and Micah in the car and the crying doesn't stop. I'm sure my friends are thinking, "This is our welcome to Maine?" Erin starts to hyperventilate slightly at this point. I make a call to the pedicatrician's office. The plan is to take her there on our way back. The closer we get to Auburn, the quieter she becomes. By the 3/4 mark, she's asleep. I decided to let sleeping kids alone and we go home. She's fine for 10 minutes and the crying and clutching starts again. Then, she spikes a fever. After almost 8 years of being a mom (and over 34 years of being the daughter of a nurse), I start to wonder if we're dealing with appendicitis. After giving Erin some Mylanta and some Advil(tm), I make another call. "Bring her in," they said. We left my friends at our house, so I can cart Erin over to the doctor's office. The closer we get, the more color she has, the more animated she becomes. She makes a charming entrance to the office area--smiling, talking, and seeming pretty damn healthy. I'm convinced that one of these days, I'm gonna get arrested for being one of those people who keep claiming their kids is sick, but isn't. The doctor examines Erin as she giggles. I feel somewhat vindicated that he's pressing on her stomach and says he's checking for an inflamed appendix. Also, she has a low grade temp (is it ok for a mom to be relieved that for once, the kid has a temp when I say she does?). The good news: Erin's appendix is just fine. The bad news: She seems to have a mighty big case of gas. Erin gets her sticker and we're on our way home. "Mommy, I was sooooooo good!" she tells me with a beaming expression. All I can do is shake my head. Now, my stomach hurts, and I don't even get a sticker. But, maybe one day, I'll get a Nobel prize or something for my theory. I'm sure there are other parents out there who have stories to support my theory! Back me up on this one, will you?

Old Friends....

In about an hour, Erin and I are heading to Portland Jetport to pick up Mary and Micah--our friends from Ohio. After almost 8 years, we managed to get them out here to visit us in Maine! The timing of their visit couldn't be better, as I'm still smarting some from Heidi's move (ironically to Ohio). Jon and I met Mary as we moved into our apartment in Bowling Green, OH. She lived in the downstairs apartment of this old house in a nice part of town, and were going to be her upstairs neighbors. At the time, she was very pregnant with her son, Micah. Incredibly bright and funnier than hell, this woman was preparing to be a single mother and was proud of it. As a matter of fact, she joked that the apartment Jon and I were moving into upstairs seemed to be fertile ground: she got pregnant while living there, and the couple who lived there before her also welcomed a new bundle of joy. "Don't drink the water," she warned with a smile. About a month or so later, 0n April 7, 1997, Mary had Micah. No more than a month and a half later, I discovered that I was pregnant. Unbelievable. We couldn't have had a better neighbor than Mary. I got to watch a first time mom go through the paces with a newborn. She taught me so much. Exactly 10 months after Micah's birth, on February 7, 1998, Cailyn was born. Mary and I raised our children together, shared frustrations, made each other laugh, and became best friends. Within 6 months of Cailyn's birth, though, Jon and I moved to Maine. I left behind one of the best friends I ever had the pleasure of knowing. We promised each other that we wouldn't lose touch; our friendship would endure. It hasn't been easy. We've only been to Ohio a couple of times, and there was a 6 year gap in between visits. Of course, there's phone calls and emails. Sometimes a few months will pass until either of us can manage to pick up the phone for decent chat. Working and kids makes the time go by too quickly. The last I saw Mary was in May, when I went to visit Jon during his extended trip to Cinci. We drove the 3.5 hours north to see our friend. I was nervous that things would be tense and strained. I learned that time and distance doesn't dull a friendship whatsoever. The moment we saw each other, it was like old times. We only had a few hours at her place, but really pushed the issue of her and Micah visiting us. She's wanted to since we moved, but she had just started going back to school to get her degree. In spite of the fact that she lived on her own and had a young son, she became a respiratory therapist. Mary bought her father's house and is doing a fantastic job! It took a year of saving up time and money, but they are finally coming to Maine! Now, I just have to confiscate her return tickets!!! ;) PS: Thanks to those of you sending your congrats on my new position. It means the world to me! Later gators!

Update: New job!

Well, I was offered the editorial job today. I am now an editor at mommiesmagazine.com. Click on "meet the editor" under the Mommy Fun section...Things are just getting started up, but for the first time, I will have a say in submissions, content, etc. Of course, I need to start drumming up some readers and business, but that's for another day. More details tomorrow. I'm off to work!

Stepping out and pushing forward

When I left teaching more than two years ago, I had no idea I would pursue my dream of writing. I walked away from the classroom because my girls were sick. Between the ear infections, strep throat and other an infant who had reflux, Jon and I made significant contributions to our pediatrician's kids' college funds. I had to make a choice between my students, over 130 of them, or my own kids--really, there was no choice. I loved my students, as much as they drove me nuts, but my own kids are my lifeblood. I just wasn't able to give my all to my own girls. So, I walked away from the career I thought I'd be with forever. The summer before I left teaching, I emailed the editor-in-chief of the Lewiston Sun Journal with a little humor piece I wrote. I didn't really expect to hear back. But, he sent my piece to one of the other editors. Ursula contacted me and asked me if I was willing to write a story for the Living section about kids and weddings. I figured "What the hell?". I wrote the story and they loved it. Ursula said that if I ever left teaching, to let her know. I laughed at her. She must have known something I didn't. About two months after I walked out of the classroom for the last time, I dropped her an email. "Guess What? I left teaching. I'd love to write again for you." Writing was always a secret passion of mine. Even though I was an English major in school, I kept my writings very close to me. They were an outlet to deal with my frustrations, heartbreaks and confusion. Professors would ask me why I didn't pursue writing more seriously; again, I laughed them off. I've been a "writer" for almost three years now. It's a career filled with many highs and lows--mostly lows. It's not for the weak-hearted. Rejection becomes so common, that it stings less each time one of those form letters arrive. Oh, the sting never disappears completely. I've developed a tough skin. Still, there are more days than not where I wonder what the hell I'm doing and who the hell I think I am by claiming to be a writer. Then, a day like yesterday happens. I get word from an editor of a national publication that she loves my idea for a story. My college alumni magazine is interested in having me write some pieces for them. Lastly, an online parenting magazine is set to offer me an editorial position for their publication. Although none of these gigs are set in stone, yet, it is a big step forward for me. I'm finally developing the courage to actually pursue my dream and not just wait for it to happen. I've been furiously revising chapters of the book I've been working on for what seems like forever. I won't make my deadline that I set earlier in the summer, but I'm well on my way to completing it now--which is something I never thought I'd do. I'm learning that the only way that I can advance is by putting myself out there and saying, "Hey, I have something you need...that your readers need." For a girl with shaky self-confidence, that's a giant step. Before I finish this little ramble, I want to take a second and say a huge thank you to my husband, Jon. He keeps me focused and calm (no easy feat!) and encourages me every day. Also, thanks to Heidi for being my biggest cheerleader! Her advice is priceless. Yesterday, my mom told me that she was proud of me for being brave enough to put myself out there and do what I want with my life. Perhaps I'm really on my way...

What's new in Maine?

First, many thanks to those of you who sent your thoughts and compliments regarding my last post. I think that will be a moment that will stay with me for the rest of my life. The past week and a half have buzzed by. Before I left for our VT vacation, I commented that my freelance writing jobs assignments had slowed down considerably. I wasn't complaining, really, because I should be working on the memoir essays that I talked with an agent in NYC about. I've made some progress, though. Anyway, while I was gone, I literally got slammed with new assignments. What's that saying, "be careful what you wish for?" One of my assignments was taking photos for a profile of a local hot air balloonist. Each year here in our town, we have a huge balloon festival. The paper does a whole section on it, and I was asked to contribute three stories and some pictures! Wow! Here's a bit of my work--still working on the camera settings and such, but I have to say that these didn't come out too badly! Walter and Gayle getting the balloon ready to go. It's about 6:30 am. We had to meet at the ass-crack of dawn, but it was worth it! Time for Launch! For such a large object, it floats so smoothly (yeah, I wasn't in the thing, but it looked that way!) On the chase, which was a riot! Driving along backroads, I found places in Auburn I had no idea existed. Beautiful! The clouds broke away about 40 minutes into the balloon's flight. Sometimes I just marvel at the job I have.... Jon says I that I have to get in one of these things now. I've always said, "Never!", but then again, I said that about parasailing, too. Still, I went during my honeymoon. Isn't it amazing what some people with do for love? As for getting in a hot-air balloon, all I can say is that if Walter and his crew are running the show, I'd consider it. They were that fantastic. Now, that would make for some great shots... For those of you who know Heidi from Heidi's Daze, I can tell you that she and her family made it to Ohio fine--although a bit worn out from the long drive and the stresses that come with the move. Their furniture and other stuff got there earlier than expected (only by a day, but, hey, it's better than late!). She's hoping to be back online within the week. I know I miss her, and her blogging buddies will be thrilled to have her back! I have some pics to download for a story I just turned in, so I suppose I'd better go do that. More later, I hope!

An uneventful trip...

"It's been a pretty uneventful trip." With the exception of the typical sibling squabbles between Miss C and Miss E, the four plus hours we had been in the car passed by without too much stress. My recently purchased Ipod and the little gadget that allows us to play endless tunes through my Grand Am stereo served us well: a playlist for Mom and Dad and one for the girls kept everyone happy, for the most part. There was no Wiggles music within earshot, so the trio of people over the age of three were thrilled. We had reached the worst part of the trip: the Maine Turnpike. So close to home, yet still an hour or so away. There's nothing to look at and everyone is restless at this point. Fortunately, traffic was flowing quickly and we were making excellent time. We rounded one of the few, wide corners of the highway when we all we saw was dust. "What the hell?" I asked. Jon hit the brakes and the question was wordlessly answered. A dark SUV was tumbling off the shoulder an into the grassy shoulder area. "Holy Shit." I grabbed the cell phone and my fingers punched in 9-1-1. I prayed that the words I spoke weren't an incoherent jumble and that I gave enough information to get a squad to arrive quickly. The responder already knew about the accident--someone else must have called before me. Our car stopped abruptly a short distance from the wreck. Jon jumped out of the car and I looked over my shoulder. "Girls, do not move! Stay in the car. Daddy and I will be right back." Cailyn cried out a little, but I swung my door open and followed my husband out onto the side of the highway. I wouldn't consider myself a coward, but ordinarily I avoid seeing blood or injury. I don't even watch medical shows, because I can get a bit squeamish. Still, all my head kept saying was "If it were my me and my kids, I'd want help." What was once an SUV looked crumpled and burned out of control. A woman and a girl of about 10 stood nearby while two other men, other passersby who stopped to help, were calling out to them. All Jon and I could hear was something about "Gotta find the toy." Toy? I stopped short, glanced around and thought, "They're screaming about a toy?" Jon kept going toward them. "Here! He's over here!" Way up on the grassy embankment, at least 50 feet from the SUV was a boy. The two men ran up and removed him carefully from the hill and the scattered debris from both within and ouside the vehicle. Finally, we reached them. The boy was conscious and surprisingly alert, albeit cut up and bit bloody. Mom and sister talked with another woman, a nurse, who stopped. I wasn't even sure they realized that the boy was found. One of the men who found him was an EMT and talked into a crackling radio. The other man peppered the boy with questions, to see how extensively he was injured. My contribution to the scene: "Do you want something to help clean him up a little?" Someone said yes, and I rushed back through the building smoke and grabbed a handful of napkins and anything else I could find that I figured would help out. My girls were whimpering when I got back. I assured them that all was ok, and that I would come back again. "Don't go Mommy!" Cailyn pleaded. I told her to take care of her sister until I got back in a few minutes and off I went again. The napkins were used to help clean off the boy's face as Mom and sister sat near him. A few more moments passed and Jon decided to move our car even farther away, because the SUV was really raging now. "Stay with the girls!" I told him as he hurried to the car. All I could do was look at this boy. He was 7--Cailyn's age. I know they asked him to give his name. In spite of the trauma that just occurred, he spoke out right away. I provided little help, so I double-checked with the professionals there if they needed anything else (right...). When I heard the EMT comment that the SUV was probably gonna "go" soon, I made a dash to get back to my family. The car spewed thick, black smoke. It popped and hissed and the flames shot higher. I found out that this "big girl" can still move, even in a pair of summer sandals. When I closed the door to our car, the cool air of the AC was a relief and my girls cried. I told them that I promised I'd be back and I don't break promises. Jon and I only took the briefest of moments to exhange looks of disbelief before I barked at him to get out of there before the truck blew. The next day, we looked for news on the boy, wanting to know how the family was doing. Jon couldn't believe that not a single local station covered the story. "I see stuff all the time in the news about accidents on the turnpike," he commented. I kept scanning the news websites in our area and finally shook my head. "We won't find anything about it." "Why not?" I turned to him. "First of all, they didn't have to shut the highway down. No traffic. But, most of all, nobody died." Jon said nothing. "It's not news without a traffic jam or a death."

Homeward Bound

Going back to Maine tomorrow. Am bummin' big time. For the first time in ages, we all had a blast here at my folks. The kids were a pleasure to be with (most of the time), Jon and I got to spend some quality time together and I didn't even argue with Mom. Time just goes by too quickly. We spent from 9:45 am to around 6:30 PM at Six Flags' Great Escape park in Lake George, NY. All of us (grandparents, Jon and me and the girls) had a good time. There was hardly any whining, the weather was ideal and the lines weren't bad at all. Jon's just asked me to go for a last night swim, so I'll sign off for now--will update more when we return home tomorrow afternoon. Night all!

Vacation all I ever wanted...

I can't believe that our time in Vermont is almost over. Those of you who go with family back home to the parents to visit know that, at time, it can be...well...a challenge. However, this week has been totally relaxing for the four of us. The kids are loving the pool; they're going to have a hard time going back to the life they knew before having a pool right outside the back door at their disposal (so will Mommy and Daddy, truth be told). During the trip, I've managed to get a bit of work done on my writing, as well as some crocheting. I've almost mastered the granny square, but still need to follow the pattern in order to get it just right. The weekend will be busy, after a restful week. Today is the town Variety Day, which as been going on in my hometown for more years than I can even count. It's mostly just a big flea market, but it has music, games and food for kids, too. Then, it will be some downtime at the house (swimming, I'm sure) for a while. Tonight all of us (grandparents included) go to a community supper. Tommorow is the big day the kids have been waiting for. A trip to The Great Escape in Lake George, NY. I've been going to this park since it was tiny Storytown in the 70s. Now, the park is owned by Great America and it's huge. My dad is off from the farm tomorrow, so we get to enjoy it all together as a family. The kids will be exhausted, but it should be fun. Then, we leave Mon morning. Time flies, as they say. Since I've been gone, I've secured 4 writing/photo gigs, so when I get home I'll be plenty busy. One of the writing groups I'm part of (Momwriters on yahoo) is running a 4-week workshop for memoir. I met my goal and got another chapter revised/completed. Here is the link to the completed essay: Voices from the Third Floor Those of you who read this blog regularly will know I've posted the story before, but it's now significantly revised and polished. I've submitted it to Long Story Short online magazine, where one of my stories was published this month. We'll see what happens. Ok, need to get ready to go. I'll try to post again before we make the drive back up to Maine! Hope everyone out there is doing well!

You can always go home again

Neat saying, really. For some, I know that's not always the case, but I'm very lucky to be able to come home for a visit when we feel like it. I'll be honest here: I hate the drive down and back. My folks' house in Vermont is about 5 1/2 hours from ours in Maine. Ok, it's better now that the girls are a little older, but they still get pretty squirrelly in the back seat. We haven't invested in one of those dvd players for the car, although Santa may get that added to the list when the time is right. However, once we get here, the visit goes well, and so far this one has been great! We were in the pool within 30 minutes of arriving. Grilled some burgers for dinner, had ice cream. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon and evening. Jon and I even managed to go for our own swim around 11pm (it's pretty warm in the house--although there is AC in the bedrooms). I forgot how much I like a nice, quiet night swim. We're gonna try to do that as much as we can while we're down here for the week. Our 9th anniversary is Wed and I'm trying to figure out what to do. Mom and Dad have offered to take the kids. Just not sure what to do; guess I'll have to go online and see if I can find a nice place to stay for the night for us. 9 years....wow... Ok, I'm gonna clean up a little around my mom's while she's at work. The surprise might give her a stroke, though ;) Oh, yes, I had to unravel my entire sweater last night. First, I messed up on a row, then figured out that the blasted thing was going to be too small for the baby. Back to the drawing board again. Sigh. At least it should go faster this time. Have a great day!

What am I thinking?

I must be crazy. I do a couple of little crochet projects and my brain goes into overdrive. Somehow, I must have switched with someone brimming with confidence. I started a baby sweater to go with the booties and hat. Actually, so far, it's coming out nicely--so I guess I have the hands of someone else, too. Still, I think I'm going to drop off the other two items while the new baby can wear them comfortably, because I'm not sure how long this burst of skill is going to last or how long it will take me to finish. I should go get some writing done tonight, but my guess is that I'm either going to work on the sweater or continue to play Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith on my Xbox. Hell, I've only had the game rented for 3 weeks...I should probably finish it during this lifetime. Besides, Jon's still two levels ahead of me on the game, and that simply isn't acceptable. Later!

A shameless plug for myself

All right, I'm sinking about as low as it goes by grossly misusing my blog to link to an article I wrote for my Suite101.com column, Raising Girls. But, hey, it's my blog and I suppose I can do what I want with it. Boys vs. Girls: Which are easier to raise? Does it even matter? The column is more for me to stay on a regular writing schedule and hopefully attract more of a readership. I have fun writing about the family and our "issues" anyway. Check it out and if you have anything to say about it, comment away!

An only child's sister...

Those of you who read Heidi's Daze probably know that she and I are best friends. You also probably know that she is packing up and getting ready to move back closer to her hometown. I couldn't be happier for her and her family. I'm a little less happy that Cincinatti, OH is over 600 miles away from Maine (but, then again, Maine seems to be 600 miles from just about anywhere ;) ) When I met Heidi almost seven years ago, she was still a kid--and I mean no disrespect by that!! She and her then-fiance (now husband) were about to graduate from college and then get married soon afterwards. Meanwhile, Jon and I had moved to the next phase of our lives: married, new homeowners and new baby. When Jon and I lived in Ohio, we were the "babies" of our circle of friends. When Heidi came into my life, my role changed. I felt the transition deep within me. When Matt was joining the company Jon works at, he and Heidi came over for a dinner, sort of as a way to get to know each other. I felt at home with this girl, although she was kinda quiet. I knew how nervous she must have felt and how overwhelming it must have been. I think I assured her that all would be fine. I didn't see her for a while after that first dinner. The details on how we became so close are a bit fuzzy. They moved out here in the summer of 1999 and somehow, we just started hanging out together. There was nothing planned or anything, we were just hanging out a bit. She adored my daughter and helped me out when I needed anything. She turned to me for advice about many things. But, mostly, we talked about kids. I could tell she wanted to start her own family.. A while later, her wish came true. Then, she would say, "Oh, I wish we were pregnant together, so we can experience this together." Four months later, baby Erin was on the way for me. Heidi and Matt became Erin's godparents. Over the years, we've shared almost everything about our lives. I've told her things I couldn't tell anyone else--and sometimes it was about things that I didn't even want to admit to. She accepts me completely for who I am, and I know that I'm not the easiest person in the world to deal with at times. I can count on her for anything. I also went through a life changing moment because of Heidi. I almost lost her once. As I sat in the ICU and looked at my best friend so ill, I kept telling her (ok, warning her), "Don't you dare leave us...don't you dare leave me. Matt needs you. Your family needs you. And, I need you." As any best friend would do, she listened--and she came back to us. We've had a couple of great years together since then. I've been working from home, we're raising our girls together, which is fun and tiresome at the same time. I've always wanted a friend like her. I don't have many friends, mostly because I don't trust easily. There are many acquaintances in my life, but I can't count on one hand how many true friends I've had. It is sacred to me, this type of friendship. But, this time, Heidi's leaving and no matter how much I might want to say, "Don't you dare leave me!", this is one time that I have to keep my mouth shut (and Heidi will tell you, that's no easy feat!). In the back of my mind, I've always known she'd go back to the Midwest, I just didn't think that almost 7 years would go by so quickly. But, all I have to do is look at our kids and it's obvious that time does fly. Whatever Heidi sets out to do, I know she will be successful. For those who will enter into her life soon, I offer this advice: Heidi may seem quiet and shy--if she stays that way, you know you haven't reached the true woman inside. The quickest way to Heidi's good side is some good chocolate and/or French Vanilla coffee from DD. She has little tolerance for narrowmindedness--she is very openminded and willing to all sides of an issue before making a judgment. She is sensitive, but strong. There's a lot more, but it would take up too much space. Heidi,I wish you didn't have to go, but I couldn't be more thrilled that you're now starting the next phase of your life. Thank you for being part of my life, being my sister and for leaving a lasting imprint in my life. And, no matter where you go, I'll still need you. Hope you can deal with that. Best wishes and luck. Bon Voyage!

My newest hobby

I will admit these aren't the greatest pictures in the world, but at least they give an idea of what I've been up to lately with my hands. It seems incredible that someone who is as anti-craft as I am (I can't even draw a stick figure correctly) would want to pick up something like crochet. My best friend, Heidi, started knitting months ago--she's gotten quite good at it, actually. When she first started, she was kind enough to let me profile her for a feature the paper was doing on the rising popularity of knitting. Truly a best friend, she let me interview her as a beginner and even allowed one of the photographers to snap a few shots. I envied Heidi because she was creating something with her hands. Naturally, she asked me why I hadn't taken up knitting, too. "Anything that requires me to put two needles in my hand and move them around sounds too dangerous to me," I replied. It just didn't seem like a great idea for me. But, my mom crochets--has since I was a little girl. I never asked her to show me how to do it while I was growing up. I was too busy being a tomboy, I guess. Mom was probably stunned when, after watching her crochet for the first time in ages, I asked her if she could show me. It's taken me since May to start to get the hang of it. Mom could only show me the very basics and I've had to go from there. I've purchased "Crochet for Dummies", watched stitching videos online and just practiced a whole lot. I'm sill not very good, but at least now I'm making stuff that's recognizable. Below are a few pics of my progress. This is one of my first swatches. Apparently, I can't make squares or rectangles very well. I lean toward the trapezoid. How creative of me, eh? This is a purse I made for Cailyn. She seems to like it. Of course, I had to make another one for Erin. I just altered the size and shape a little, so they could tell them apart. So far, no fights. I made these booties today for a friend's baby. Not bad for my first pair: at least they look like booties. I do have to redo the one of them, as they are different sizes. Still can't talk and crochet...sigh.

Just my luck...

Greetings! Well, after an unsuccessful bout at work last night, I decided to try to head over to the library this morning to get some work done while my sitter was watching Erin. Off I went with notebook and reference book in hand. I decided not to use the laptop to see if actually writing by hand would help stir the creative juices. I walk into the library, excited to have 90 minutes before I had to go to Wally-World for groceries and then go home. I don't even make it half way into the Auburn Library (which, by the way, is temporarily housed in the Auburn (S)Mall until their renovations are done next year) when I hear loud singing and clapping. It's family sing-a-long day in the children's section, which is not isolated from the rest of the room. Sigh. I move to the back of the large space, where's there's individual desks for "Quiet Study". I still hear "Yankee Doodle", "Puff the Magic Dragon" and other family favorites floating toward me. After 40 minutes of fighting the distractions, I left and went shopping. I'll try again tonight. On a happier note, here is the link to my story at Long Story Short Magazine: My first orginal published story! Took a while for the editors to get the link working correctly. So, please let me know if this is an active link. Some of you have read this story before from the blog, but it's cool to see it published somewhere else. Plus, it's my first story that is not a non-fiction feature about someone else that has been published. Ok, I'm off to try to make a baby hat and booties for a friend of mine's baby girl. Later Gators

This is why writing sucks

I am brain dead. That's why I'm here. Any of you lucky people who are out there reading this, I apologize ahead of time and warn that this is my version of a rant, a bitch, a whine--call it whatever you like. If you want to skip over this, I don't blame you, because I wish I wasn't here, either. For almost an hour, I have been sitting in front of my laptop. DH has been with the kids (although I hear them in the other room). The big flashing cursor is on my blank Microsoft Word screen, keeping its own rhythm so well that I can just about hear it saying *blink* Fuck *blink* you! over and over again I haven't been able to write a coherent thought or sentence for any of my work. Characters are running around my brain in a friggin fictional free for all, but for some inexplicable reason, they won't come out to play on paper/word processor page. Maybe it's because they're my characters that they're being stubborn. I suppose all of an author's characters share a bit of her own personality flaws. Figures that I can't even escape bits and pieces of me in the people I create. All I want to do is write, and when I go to do it, I can't. A horrible position to be in. I won't call it writer's block, because it's not a lack of ideas that's gonna drive me to the looney bin. Instead, I think it's too many crowding up the grey matter cells I have left. Jon, ever the practical engineer, says, "Just pick one idea and go with that. Just write about that." I know he's right, but I can't get my thoughts and fingers to cooperate. So, I sit here and bitch instead, hoping that maybe typing something--anything--will help me get on the right track. Right now, I'm going to say, "Fuck you, cursor--I'm trying again" and am off to try to get something down before I turn in for the night.

Odds and Ends

After the long holiday weekend, which was lovely, we're trying to get back on some sort of routine. Summer, though, seems to have other plans. Since today is sort of a catch up day, I figured I'd do the same with my blog. So, here's an update on some of the things going on in my crazy life. 1. For the first time in ages, I am sitting in a clean place in my house. This is not to say that I'm a slob, but let's just say that for years, clutter has been my friend. I'll clean up the crap, and then it just comes back. With four of us (including two young ones) in the house, there will always be some type of disorder. However, on Saturday, I simply said "ENOUGH!" So, the family spent the day cleaning, organizing and pitching stuff. The downstairs of the house looks great--all we have left is the upstairs bedrooms and the basement, where I'm tempted to just drop an H-bomb and call it a total loss. Working from home puts me in a viscious circle: I know I should be working on my writing, but the house is a mess, so I'm distracted, but I don't have a lot of time to really clean well, so I just throw up my hands in disgust. Then, I get stressed out. Fun, huh? Now, I just suck it up and say, "Do what you can, when you can." Working in a clean house certainly is better, though, I must confess. 2. Speaking of the writing, here's where I am with that. The past two weeks I've taken a break from the mansucripts and have been focusing on getting some article queries out there. I got 5 assignments last week for the next two months from the paper I usually write for, plus an online trade magazine that I'm now a regular at. In addition, one of my memoir pieces "Sing Us a Song" got accepted into the Long Story Short online literary magazine. It will go live tomorrow. Here is their homepage link: Long Story Short Literary Magazine The site is pretty cool, so go check it out when you can. With the good comes the "not so good" (won't say bad, here): I got a rejection from The Christian Science Monitor for an article proposal about standardized education. I have about 7 other queries out there that I'm waiting on--which is the worst part of writing. I'm also trying to come up with a good place to put my manuscript work for an online portfolio...Yes, it's called avoidance of work, folks. 3. Cailyn is enjoying day camp--THANK GOD--and Erin is enjoying her time at home with me for the summer. I feel badly sometimes because I work during the day and she has to entertain herself. I do have someone come down and take her out for a few hours, but there are times I feel like I should do more with her. But, by working in the day, I leave time open in the evening when Cailyn gets home, so I can spend more time with the whole family. Deep down, I know I can't be a social director (nor do I want to be) for a 7 and 3 year old, but balancing them, writing and the house drives me loony sometimes, nevermind what it does to my marriage. Poor Jon works so hard, too...and at times it feels like two ships passing in the night. But, enough bitching from me. I really have no right. 4. Apparently, I didn't comment on my quiz results in my last post re: the strawberry ice cream. Thanks to a careful reader for pointing that out. I don't totally agree with the outcome--but, what's the use in arguing, right? I will say that I'm sweet and can seem a bit shy/retiring. But, those that know me know what a crock of shit that is! LOL Ok, I've procrastinated long enough, I suppose. Off to work. Just wanted to update and let the world know I haven't fallen off of it; yet.

My ice cream flavor is....

Hmm, I'm not even a big strawberry ice cream fan...Although, you give me some chocolate dipped strawberries, well, now you're talking!! Still, this is what the quiz I took said about me:

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Paul Anka Rocks

So, here's a conversation I had with DH, Jon, the day before yesterday: Jon: So, I heard something interesting on the radio this morning. Me: (eating dinner) Hmm? Jon I'm not sure what it says about me, I'm either really getting old or I'm losing my mind. Me: (he's got my attention now) Ok, what was it. Jon: Paul Anka has a new CD out. Me: Paul Anka? As in THE Paul Anka? Jon: (eating a chicken wing) Yeah. Tim and Jamie [popular local radio hosts] played a clip from this CD. (He pulls out his wallet and finds a piece of paper} Me: (not believing what I'm seeing) You wrote it down? Jon (grins sheepishly) He did this swing version of Van Halen's 'Jump'! Me: Are you serious? Jon Yeah. The CD's called Rock Swings. He does all of these rock classics in big band style. We sit in silence for a few moments. Jon: What? You like swing and big band music... Me (nodding) Yeah, it just sounds....Paul Anka? (I start to laugh) Jon: Ok, well, you need to hear it So, after the dishes are done, and the girls are put to bed, out comes the computer and to ITunes he goes. He brings up the CD and starts to play 'Jump'. Jon: Ok, at first I wasn't impressed at all. I thought the whole things was kinda weird, but the more I listened to it...I don't know. Me: (listening) It's a little funny, but I have to admit... Jon: See! It's pretty good. The thing that practically had me peeing in my pants though, is this song. You need to hear it to appreciate it, so here's a link Listen to some smooth music here OMG! This album is so mellow and smooth and borderline geeky it's cool. I've always been a swing music fan, but to hear all of these hard hitting songs re-arranged, well...it's something! So, honey, I apologize in public for looking at you like you had three heads and laughing at you at the dinner table. But, you were right about one thing...this does say something about you (and me). I think we're getting old....