Stepping out and pushing forward

When I left teaching more than two years ago, I had no idea I would pursue my dream of writing. I walked away from the classroom because my girls were sick. Between the ear infections, strep throat and other an infant who had reflux, Jon and I made significant contributions to our pediatrician's kids' college funds. I had to make a choice between my students, over 130 of them, or my own kids--really, there was no choice. I loved my students, as much as they drove me nuts, but my own kids are my lifeblood. I just wasn't able to give my all to my own girls. So, I walked away from the career I thought I'd be with forever. The summer before I left teaching, I emailed the editor-in-chief of the Lewiston Sun Journal with a little humor piece I wrote. I didn't really expect to hear back. But, he sent my piece to one of the other editors. Ursula contacted me and asked me if I was willing to write a story for the Living section about kids and weddings. I figured "What the hell?". I wrote the story and they loved it. Ursula said that if I ever left teaching, to let her know. I laughed at her. She must have known something I didn't. About two months after I walked out of the classroom for the last time, I dropped her an email. "Guess What? I left teaching. I'd love to write again for you." Writing was always a secret passion of mine. Even though I was an English major in school, I kept my writings very close to me. They were an outlet to deal with my frustrations, heartbreaks and confusion. Professors would ask me why I didn't pursue writing more seriously; again, I laughed them off. I've been a "writer" for almost three years now. It's a career filled with many highs and lows--mostly lows. It's not for the weak-hearted. Rejection becomes so common, that it stings less each time one of those form letters arrive. Oh, the sting never disappears completely. I've developed a tough skin. Still, there are more days than not where I wonder what the hell I'm doing and who the hell I think I am by claiming to be a writer. Then, a day like yesterday happens. I get word from an editor of a national publication that she loves my idea for a story. My college alumni magazine is interested in having me write some pieces for them. Lastly, an online parenting magazine is set to offer me an editorial position for their publication. Although none of these gigs are set in stone, yet, it is a big step forward for me. I'm finally developing the courage to actually pursue my dream and not just wait for it to happen. I've been furiously revising chapters of the book I've been working on for what seems like forever. I won't make my deadline that I set earlier in the summer, but I'm well on my way to completing it now--which is something I never thought I'd do. I'm learning that the only way that I can advance is by putting myself out there and saying, "Hey, I have something you need...that your readers need." For a girl with shaky self-confidence, that's a giant step. Before I finish this little ramble, I want to take a second and say a huge thank you to my husband, Jon. He keeps me focused and calm (no easy feat!) and encourages me every day. Also, thanks to Heidi for being my biggest cheerleader! Her advice is priceless. Yesterday, my mom told me that she was proud of me for being brave enough to put myself out there and do what I want with my life. Perhaps I'm really on my way...