An uneventful trip...

"It's been a pretty uneventful trip." With the exception of the typical sibling squabbles between Miss C and Miss E, the four plus hours we had been in the car passed by without too much stress. My recently purchased Ipod and the little gadget that allows us to play endless tunes through my Grand Am stereo served us well: a playlist for Mom and Dad and one for the girls kept everyone happy, for the most part. There was no Wiggles music within earshot, so the trio of people over the age of three were thrilled. We had reached the worst part of the trip: the Maine Turnpike. So close to home, yet still an hour or so away. There's nothing to look at and everyone is restless at this point. Fortunately, traffic was flowing quickly and we were making excellent time. We rounded one of the few, wide corners of the highway when we all we saw was dust. "What the hell?" I asked. Jon hit the brakes and the question was wordlessly answered. A dark SUV was tumbling off the shoulder an into the grassy shoulder area. "Holy Shit." I grabbed the cell phone and my fingers punched in 9-1-1. I prayed that the words I spoke weren't an incoherent jumble and that I gave enough information to get a squad to arrive quickly. The responder already knew about the accident--someone else must have called before me. Our car stopped abruptly a short distance from the wreck. Jon jumped out of the car and I looked over my shoulder. "Girls, do not move! Stay in the car. Daddy and I will be right back." Cailyn cried out a little, but I swung my door open and followed my husband out onto the side of the highway. I wouldn't consider myself a coward, but ordinarily I avoid seeing blood or injury. I don't even watch medical shows, because I can get a bit squeamish. Still, all my head kept saying was "If it were my me and my kids, I'd want help." What was once an SUV looked crumpled and burned out of control. A woman and a girl of about 10 stood nearby while two other men, other passersby who stopped to help, were calling out to them. All Jon and I could hear was something about "Gotta find the toy." Toy? I stopped short, glanced around and thought, "They're screaming about a toy?" Jon kept going toward them. "Here! He's over here!" Way up on the grassy embankment, at least 50 feet from the SUV was a boy. The two men ran up and removed him carefully from the hill and the scattered debris from both within and ouside the vehicle. Finally, we reached them. The boy was conscious and surprisingly alert, albeit cut up and bit bloody. Mom and sister talked with another woman, a nurse, who stopped. I wasn't even sure they realized that the boy was found. One of the men who found him was an EMT and talked into a crackling radio. The other man peppered the boy with questions, to see how extensively he was injured. My contribution to the scene: "Do you want something to help clean him up a little?" Someone said yes, and I rushed back through the building smoke and grabbed a handful of napkins and anything else I could find that I figured would help out. My girls were whimpering when I got back. I assured them that all was ok, and that I would come back again. "Don't go Mommy!" Cailyn pleaded. I told her to take care of her sister until I got back in a few minutes and off I went again. The napkins were used to help clean off the boy's face as Mom and sister sat near him. A few more moments passed and Jon decided to move our car even farther away, because the SUV was really raging now. "Stay with the girls!" I told him as he hurried to the car. All I could do was look at this boy. He was 7--Cailyn's age. I know they asked him to give his name. In spite of the trauma that just occurred, he spoke out right away. I provided little help, so I double-checked with the professionals there if they needed anything else (right...). When I heard the EMT comment that the SUV was probably gonna "go" soon, I made a dash to get back to my family. The car spewed thick, black smoke. It popped and hissed and the flames shot higher. I found out that this "big girl" can still move, even in a pair of summer sandals. When I closed the door to our car, the cool air of the AC was a relief and my girls cried. I told them that I promised I'd be back and I don't break promises. Jon and I only took the briefest of moments to exhange looks of disbelief before I barked at him to get out of there before the truck blew. The next day, we looked for news on the boy, wanting to know how the family was doing. Jon couldn't believe that not a single local station covered the story. "I see stuff all the time in the news about accidents on the turnpike," he commented. I kept scanning the news websites in our area and finally shook my head. "We won't find anything about it." "Why not?" I turned to him. "First of all, they didn't have to shut the highway down. No traffic. But, most of all, nobody died." Jon said nothing. "It's not news without a traffic jam or a death."

Homeward Bound

Going back to Maine tomorrow. Am bummin' big time. For the first time in ages, we all had a blast here at my folks. The kids were a pleasure to be with (most of the time), Jon and I got to spend some quality time together and I didn't even argue with Mom. Time just goes by too quickly. We spent from 9:45 am to around 6:30 PM at Six Flags' Great Escape park in Lake George, NY. All of us (grandparents, Jon and me and the girls) had a good time. There was hardly any whining, the weather was ideal and the lines weren't bad at all. Jon's just asked me to go for a last night swim, so I'll sign off for now--will update more when we return home tomorrow afternoon. Night all!

Vacation all I ever wanted...

I can't believe that our time in Vermont is almost over. Those of you who go with family back home to the parents to visit know that, at time, it can be...well...a challenge. However, this week has been totally relaxing for the four of us. The kids are loving the pool; they're going to have a hard time going back to the life they knew before having a pool right outside the back door at their disposal (so will Mommy and Daddy, truth be told). During the trip, I've managed to get a bit of work done on my writing, as well as some crocheting. I've almost mastered the granny square, but still need to follow the pattern in order to get it just right. The weekend will be busy, after a restful week. Today is the town Variety Day, which as been going on in my hometown for more years than I can even count. It's mostly just a big flea market, but it has music, games and food for kids, too. Then, it will be some downtime at the house (swimming, I'm sure) for a while. Tonight all of us (grandparents included) go to a community supper. Tommorow is the big day the kids have been waiting for. A trip to The Great Escape in Lake George, NY. I've been going to this park since it was tiny Storytown in the 70s. Now, the park is owned by Great America and it's huge. My dad is off from the farm tomorrow, so we get to enjoy it all together as a family. The kids will be exhausted, but it should be fun. Then, we leave Mon morning. Time flies, as they say. Since I've been gone, I've secured 4 writing/photo gigs, so when I get home I'll be plenty busy. One of the writing groups I'm part of (Momwriters on yahoo) is running a 4-week workshop for memoir. I met my goal and got another chapter revised/completed. Here is the link to the completed essay: Voices from the Third Floor Those of you who read this blog regularly will know I've posted the story before, but it's now significantly revised and polished. I've submitted it to Long Story Short online magazine, where one of my stories was published this month. We'll see what happens. Ok, need to get ready to go. I'll try to post again before we make the drive back up to Maine! Hope everyone out there is doing well!

You can always go home again

Neat saying, really. For some, I know that's not always the case, but I'm very lucky to be able to come home for a visit when we feel like it. I'll be honest here: I hate the drive down and back. My folks' house in Vermont is about 5 1/2 hours from ours in Maine. Ok, it's better now that the girls are a little older, but they still get pretty squirrelly in the back seat. We haven't invested in one of those dvd players for the car, although Santa may get that added to the list when the time is right. However, once we get here, the visit goes well, and so far this one has been great! We were in the pool within 30 minutes of arriving. Grilled some burgers for dinner, had ice cream. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon and evening. Jon and I even managed to go for our own swim around 11pm (it's pretty warm in the house--although there is AC in the bedrooms). I forgot how much I like a nice, quiet night swim. We're gonna try to do that as much as we can while we're down here for the week. Our 9th anniversary is Wed and I'm trying to figure out what to do. Mom and Dad have offered to take the kids. Just not sure what to do; guess I'll have to go online and see if I can find a nice place to stay for the night for us. 9 years....wow... Ok, I'm gonna clean up a little around my mom's while she's at work. The surprise might give her a stroke, though ;) Oh, yes, I had to unravel my entire sweater last night. First, I messed up on a row, then figured out that the blasted thing was going to be too small for the baby. Back to the drawing board again. Sigh. At least it should go faster this time. Have a great day!

What am I thinking?

I must be crazy. I do a couple of little crochet projects and my brain goes into overdrive. Somehow, I must have switched with someone brimming with confidence. I started a baby sweater to go with the booties and hat. Actually, so far, it's coming out nicely--so I guess I have the hands of someone else, too. Still, I think I'm going to drop off the other two items while the new baby can wear them comfortably, because I'm not sure how long this burst of skill is going to last or how long it will take me to finish. I should go get some writing done tonight, but my guess is that I'm either going to work on the sweater or continue to play Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith on my Xbox. Hell, I've only had the game rented for 3 weeks...I should probably finish it during this lifetime. Besides, Jon's still two levels ahead of me on the game, and that simply isn't acceptable. Later!

A shameless plug for myself

All right, I'm sinking about as low as it goes by grossly misusing my blog to link to an article I wrote for my Suite101.com column, Raising Girls. But, hey, it's my blog and I suppose I can do what I want with it. Boys vs. Girls: Which are easier to raise? Does it even matter? The column is more for me to stay on a regular writing schedule and hopefully attract more of a readership. I have fun writing about the family and our "issues" anyway. Check it out and if you have anything to say about it, comment away!

An only child's sister...

Those of you who read Heidi's Daze probably know that she and I are best friends. You also probably know that she is packing up and getting ready to move back closer to her hometown. I couldn't be happier for her and her family. I'm a little less happy that Cincinatti, OH is over 600 miles away from Maine (but, then again, Maine seems to be 600 miles from just about anywhere ;) ) When I met Heidi almost seven years ago, she was still a kid--and I mean no disrespect by that!! She and her then-fiance (now husband) were about to graduate from college and then get married soon afterwards. Meanwhile, Jon and I had moved to the next phase of our lives: married, new homeowners and new baby. When Jon and I lived in Ohio, we were the "babies" of our circle of friends. When Heidi came into my life, my role changed. I felt the transition deep within me. When Matt was joining the company Jon works at, he and Heidi came over for a dinner, sort of as a way to get to know each other. I felt at home with this girl, although she was kinda quiet. I knew how nervous she must have felt and how overwhelming it must have been. I think I assured her that all would be fine. I didn't see her for a while after that first dinner. The details on how we became so close are a bit fuzzy. They moved out here in the summer of 1999 and somehow, we just started hanging out together. There was nothing planned or anything, we were just hanging out a bit. She adored my daughter and helped me out when I needed anything. She turned to me for advice about many things. But, mostly, we talked about kids. I could tell she wanted to start her own family.. A while later, her wish came true. Then, she would say, "Oh, I wish we were pregnant together, so we can experience this together." Four months later, baby Erin was on the way for me. Heidi and Matt became Erin's godparents. Over the years, we've shared almost everything about our lives. I've told her things I couldn't tell anyone else--and sometimes it was about things that I didn't even want to admit to. She accepts me completely for who I am, and I know that I'm not the easiest person in the world to deal with at times. I can count on her for anything. I also went through a life changing moment because of Heidi. I almost lost her once. As I sat in the ICU and looked at my best friend so ill, I kept telling her (ok, warning her), "Don't you dare leave us...don't you dare leave me. Matt needs you. Your family needs you. And, I need you." As any best friend would do, she listened--and she came back to us. We've had a couple of great years together since then. I've been working from home, we're raising our girls together, which is fun and tiresome at the same time. I've always wanted a friend like her. I don't have many friends, mostly because I don't trust easily. There are many acquaintances in my life, but I can't count on one hand how many true friends I've had. It is sacred to me, this type of friendship. But, this time, Heidi's leaving and no matter how much I might want to say, "Don't you dare leave me!", this is one time that I have to keep my mouth shut (and Heidi will tell you, that's no easy feat!). In the back of my mind, I've always known she'd go back to the Midwest, I just didn't think that almost 7 years would go by so quickly. But, all I have to do is look at our kids and it's obvious that time does fly. Whatever Heidi sets out to do, I know she will be successful. For those who will enter into her life soon, I offer this advice: Heidi may seem quiet and shy--if she stays that way, you know you haven't reached the true woman inside. The quickest way to Heidi's good side is some good chocolate and/or French Vanilla coffee from DD. She has little tolerance for narrowmindedness--she is very openminded and willing to all sides of an issue before making a judgment. She is sensitive, but strong. There's a lot more, but it would take up too much space. Heidi,I wish you didn't have to go, but I couldn't be more thrilled that you're now starting the next phase of your life. Thank you for being part of my life, being my sister and for leaving a lasting imprint in my life. And, no matter where you go, I'll still need you. Hope you can deal with that. Best wishes and luck. Bon Voyage!

My newest hobby

I will admit these aren't the greatest pictures in the world, but at least they give an idea of what I've been up to lately with my hands. It seems incredible that someone who is as anti-craft as I am (I can't even draw a stick figure correctly) would want to pick up something like crochet. My best friend, Heidi, started knitting months ago--she's gotten quite good at it, actually. When she first started, she was kind enough to let me profile her for a feature the paper was doing on the rising popularity of knitting. Truly a best friend, she let me interview her as a beginner and even allowed one of the photographers to snap a few shots. I envied Heidi because she was creating something with her hands. Naturally, she asked me why I hadn't taken up knitting, too. "Anything that requires me to put two needles in my hand and move them around sounds too dangerous to me," I replied. It just didn't seem like a great idea for me. But, my mom crochets--has since I was a little girl. I never asked her to show me how to do it while I was growing up. I was too busy being a tomboy, I guess. Mom was probably stunned when, after watching her crochet for the first time in ages, I asked her if she could show me. It's taken me since May to start to get the hang of it. Mom could only show me the very basics and I've had to go from there. I've purchased "Crochet for Dummies", watched stitching videos online and just practiced a whole lot. I'm sill not very good, but at least now I'm making stuff that's recognizable. Below are a few pics of my progress. This is one of my first swatches. Apparently, I can't make squares or rectangles very well. I lean toward the trapezoid. How creative of me, eh? This is a purse I made for Cailyn. She seems to like it. Of course, I had to make another one for Erin. I just altered the size and shape a little, so they could tell them apart. So far, no fights. I made these booties today for a friend's baby. Not bad for my first pair: at least they look like booties. I do have to redo the one of them, as they are different sizes. Still can't talk and crochet...sigh.

Just my luck...

Greetings! Well, after an unsuccessful bout at work last night, I decided to try to head over to the library this morning to get some work done while my sitter was watching Erin. Off I went with notebook and reference book in hand. I decided not to use the laptop to see if actually writing by hand would help stir the creative juices. I walk into the library, excited to have 90 minutes before I had to go to Wally-World for groceries and then go home. I don't even make it half way into the Auburn Library (which, by the way, is temporarily housed in the Auburn (S)Mall until their renovations are done next year) when I hear loud singing and clapping. It's family sing-a-long day in the children's section, which is not isolated from the rest of the room. Sigh. I move to the back of the large space, where's there's individual desks for "Quiet Study". I still hear "Yankee Doodle", "Puff the Magic Dragon" and other family favorites floating toward me. After 40 minutes of fighting the distractions, I left and went shopping. I'll try again tonight. On a happier note, here is the link to my story at Long Story Short Magazine: My first orginal published story! Took a while for the editors to get the link working correctly. So, please let me know if this is an active link. Some of you have read this story before from the blog, but it's cool to see it published somewhere else. Plus, it's my first story that is not a non-fiction feature about someone else that has been published. Ok, I'm off to try to make a baby hat and booties for a friend of mine's baby girl. Later Gators

This is why writing sucks

I am brain dead. That's why I'm here. Any of you lucky people who are out there reading this, I apologize ahead of time and warn that this is my version of a rant, a bitch, a whine--call it whatever you like. If you want to skip over this, I don't blame you, because I wish I wasn't here, either. For almost an hour, I have been sitting in front of my laptop. DH has been with the kids (although I hear them in the other room). The big flashing cursor is on my blank Microsoft Word screen, keeping its own rhythm so well that I can just about hear it saying *blink* Fuck *blink* you! over and over again I haven't been able to write a coherent thought or sentence for any of my work. Characters are running around my brain in a friggin fictional free for all, but for some inexplicable reason, they won't come out to play on paper/word processor page. Maybe it's because they're my characters that they're being stubborn. I suppose all of an author's characters share a bit of her own personality flaws. Figures that I can't even escape bits and pieces of me in the people I create. All I want to do is write, and when I go to do it, I can't. A horrible position to be in. I won't call it writer's block, because it's not a lack of ideas that's gonna drive me to the looney bin. Instead, I think it's too many crowding up the grey matter cells I have left. Jon, ever the practical engineer, says, "Just pick one idea and go with that. Just write about that." I know he's right, but I can't get my thoughts and fingers to cooperate. So, I sit here and bitch instead, hoping that maybe typing something--anything--will help me get on the right track. Right now, I'm going to say, "Fuck you, cursor--I'm trying again" and am off to try to get something down before I turn in for the night.

Odds and Ends

After the long holiday weekend, which was lovely, we're trying to get back on some sort of routine. Summer, though, seems to have other plans. Since today is sort of a catch up day, I figured I'd do the same with my blog. So, here's an update on some of the things going on in my crazy life. 1. For the first time in ages, I am sitting in a clean place in my house. This is not to say that I'm a slob, but let's just say that for years, clutter has been my friend. I'll clean up the crap, and then it just comes back. With four of us (including two young ones) in the house, there will always be some type of disorder. However, on Saturday, I simply said "ENOUGH!" So, the family spent the day cleaning, organizing and pitching stuff. The downstairs of the house looks great--all we have left is the upstairs bedrooms and the basement, where I'm tempted to just drop an H-bomb and call it a total loss. Working from home puts me in a viscious circle: I know I should be working on my writing, but the house is a mess, so I'm distracted, but I don't have a lot of time to really clean well, so I just throw up my hands in disgust. Then, I get stressed out. Fun, huh? Now, I just suck it up and say, "Do what you can, when you can." Working in a clean house certainly is better, though, I must confess. 2. Speaking of the writing, here's where I am with that. The past two weeks I've taken a break from the mansucripts and have been focusing on getting some article queries out there. I got 5 assignments last week for the next two months from the paper I usually write for, plus an online trade magazine that I'm now a regular at. In addition, one of my memoir pieces "Sing Us a Song" got accepted into the Long Story Short online literary magazine. It will go live tomorrow. Here is their homepage link: Long Story Short Literary Magazine The site is pretty cool, so go check it out when you can. With the good comes the "not so good" (won't say bad, here): I got a rejection from The Christian Science Monitor for an article proposal about standardized education. I have about 7 other queries out there that I'm waiting on--which is the worst part of writing. I'm also trying to come up with a good place to put my manuscript work for an online portfolio...Yes, it's called avoidance of work, folks. 3. Cailyn is enjoying day camp--THANK GOD--and Erin is enjoying her time at home with me for the summer. I feel badly sometimes because I work during the day and she has to entertain herself. I do have someone come down and take her out for a few hours, but there are times I feel like I should do more with her. But, by working in the day, I leave time open in the evening when Cailyn gets home, so I can spend more time with the whole family. Deep down, I know I can't be a social director (nor do I want to be) for a 7 and 3 year old, but balancing them, writing and the house drives me loony sometimes, nevermind what it does to my marriage. Poor Jon works so hard, too...and at times it feels like two ships passing in the night. But, enough bitching from me. I really have no right. 4. Apparently, I didn't comment on my quiz results in my last post re: the strawberry ice cream. Thanks to a careful reader for pointing that out. I don't totally agree with the outcome--but, what's the use in arguing, right? I will say that I'm sweet and can seem a bit shy/retiring. But, those that know me know what a crock of shit that is! LOL Ok, I've procrastinated long enough, I suppose. Off to work. Just wanted to update and let the world know I haven't fallen off of it; yet.

My ice cream flavor is....

Hmm, I'm not even a big strawberry ice cream fan...Although, you give me some chocolate dipped strawberries, well, now you're talking!! Still, this is what the quiz I took said about me:

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Paul Anka Rocks

So, here's a conversation I had with DH, Jon, the day before yesterday: Jon: So, I heard something interesting on the radio this morning. Me: (eating dinner) Hmm? Jon I'm not sure what it says about me, I'm either really getting old or I'm losing my mind. Me: (he's got my attention now) Ok, what was it. Jon: Paul Anka has a new CD out. Me: Paul Anka? As in THE Paul Anka? Jon: (eating a chicken wing) Yeah. Tim and Jamie [popular local radio hosts] played a clip from this CD. (He pulls out his wallet and finds a piece of paper} Me: (not believing what I'm seeing) You wrote it down? Jon (grins sheepishly) He did this swing version of Van Halen's 'Jump'! Me: Are you serious? Jon Yeah. The CD's called Rock Swings. He does all of these rock classics in big band style. We sit in silence for a few moments. Jon: What? You like swing and big band music... Me (nodding) Yeah, it just sounds....Paul Anka? (I start to laugh) Jon: Ok, well, you need to hear it So, after the dishes are done, and the girls are put to bed, out comes the computer and to ITunes he goes. He brings up the CD and starts to play 'Jump'. Jon: Ok, at first I wasn't impressed at all. I thought the whole things was kinda weird, but the more I listened to it...I don't know. Me: (listening) It's a little funny, but I have to admit... Jon: See! It's pretty good. The thing that practically had me peeing in my pants though, is this song. You need to hear it to appreciate it, so here's a link Listen to some smooth music here OMG! This album is so mellow and smooth and borderline geeky it's cool. I've always been a swing music fan, but to hear all of these hard hitting songs re-arranged, well...it's something! So, honey, I apologize in public for looking at you like you had three heads and laughing at you at the dinner table. But, you were right about one thing...this does say something about you (and me). I think we're getting old....