Looking back on my life through a me-me

I stole this meme from Heidi, who stole it from two others on her blog--so, I guess this is some hot stuff! Taking a trip down amnesia lane should be fun; let's get started! 10 years ago: I was wrapping up classes and studying for my comprehensive exams in order to graduate with my Masters degree in Literacy Education from Bowling Green State University in Ohio. In May, I became engaged to my wonderful boyfriend, Jon, after "dating" for only about 6 or so months. Jon and I moved into a new apartment together and started making plans for our wedding in Vermont, the following summer. As stressful as it was then, I look back very fondly on those times now. We were young, in love, and just starting out. 5 years ago: Jon and I had moved to Maine two years before (in 1998). We were now parents of our first daughter, Cailyn, who has turned two in February. Jon had a new job at P&G in Maine, was travelling a lot and we were settled into our new home: a house! This time, 5 years ago, we were preparing to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversay. I was teaching Literacy Skills and was the Director of the Learning Center at Poland Regional High School--the first new school in Maine in a generation. At the time, I thought it was the job of my dreams. I enjoyed it, but something was missing... 1 year ago: Cailyn wrapped up kindergarten and Erin was home with me full time, after I left teaching the previous winter. I was writing, in earnest, for the Lewiston Sun Journal now and starting to wonder if this writing thing would turn into more than just a hobby. Jon and I were about to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary and we took our girls to Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor--a first for all of us. Here's a pic of my two little adventurers. We were surprised at how much they enjoyed the trip, especially since neither of them are the outdoor-type (like Mother/like daughters!). They want to go back this year and we hope we can swing another trip up to the area in late August, before school goes back in session. Yesterday: A lazy day for me and Erin. Cailyn was dropped off for the camp bus and Erin and I hung around at home. I spent the day trying to get out from under the laundry that has piled up down in the basement (all clean, just not put away) and also worked on trying to get my writing projects organized. After spending a while trying to see where I was at, this is what I found on my project roster:

Three book proposals that I am either writing or revising

A short story that I am looking to put into children's book form

Four short features for the paper and a website I work for

An online column

Six features ideas I've sent out to publishers and waiting to hear back on

Then, of course, there's the blog and my business website I need to maintain

So, yesterday was productive if for the only reason that I know why I'm going insane. Today: Clean house a little and maybe get in touch with Heidi, so the girls can play together. Jon and I are heading out for a few hours tonight to have some "us" time and I need to finish up a sidebar for the paper. Tomorrow: No idea, yet. Hopefully will get a chapter of one of my books finished. Ok, hopefully will get a chapter started. LOL 5 snacks I enjoy: popcorn, pretzels, hostess cupcakes, chips and salsa and chocolate 5 songs I know all the words to: Almost any Phil Collins song, but I'll say "In the Air Tonight", "Smooth", by Rob Thomas and Santana, "In My Life", the Beatles, "Only the Good Die Young," Billy Joel and the majority of broadway shows. LOL 5 things I'd do with a 100 mill: Pay off my bills, put a nice sum away for my girls, pay off my parents bills, invest/save some and travel with Jon! 5 locations I'd like to run away to: The Maine coast (my own little beach house), Quebec City, Ireland, A nice, well appointed cabine in a lake on the mountains of Vermont and the Caribbean. 5 bad habits: emotional eating, biting my nails, worrying about things I have little control over, beating myself up, being outspoken at the wrong times 5 things I like doing: write, read, listen to music, spend time with my family and crochet 5 things I would never wear: Um, micro mini skirts, a fully-sequined dress, a bikini, a nose ring, a tongue ring. 5 TV shows I like: West Wing, Mythbusters, documentaries, Mad About You and the news 5 movies I like: Major League, Moulin Rouge, Star Wars, Gone with the Wind, Somewhere in Time 5 famous people I'd like to meet: Martin Sheen, Bill Clinton, Robin Williams, Harrison Ford and Keith Lockhart of the Boston Pops 5 biggest joys at the moment: Watching my girls enjoy each other (which is off and on, most of the time), spending some quiet time with Jon, looking forward to going to Vermont for a week and those little moments I grab that I can be alone. 5 favorite toys: my laptop, our TiVo, my IPod, my digital camera and one toy I won't mention here! LOL LOL Phew! If you're still with me, you're a trooper. Sorry it got so long!

My Book Me-Me

Ok, thanks to Heidi I was tagged and now am "It" for one of these blasted Me-Me thingy-doodles. So, true to my word of not being a spoil-sport, I did it. You'd think that a writer wouldn't mind sharing her ideas about books, but there's almost so much I could say, that this proved to be harder than it should have been. Still here goes: 1. How many books do you own? I can't count. Seriously, it's not because I'm lazy, it's just that it's too many and would take to damn long. I have floor to ceiling bookshelves in my living room--which I did sort through last year--that hold a lot. Then, I have all my teaching books downstairs in boxes and shelves, put away in storage in case I ever go back into the classroom. Then, there are the children's books! OMG, they are everywhere. It's no wonder my kids love reading. They have a library right here. But, somehow, they still manage to love to go to the library and check out books. Also, there are few times I will leave a bookstore without getting something. Everyone has an addiction, and I guess books are one of mine. 2. The Last Book I Bought: Hmm, Crocheting for Dummies. A switch for me, since I usually get writing instruction, strategy or business books lately. My mom has been crocheting for years, as well as my MIL, and I decided to see if I could try it. Mom showed me a few of the basics, but being one of the least crafty people in the world (Martha Stewart definitely doesn't live here!), I needed a bit more instruction. Off to the bookstore I went. 3. Last Book I read: Currently, I am reading Write from Life: Turning your personal experiences into compelling stories by Meg Files. Makes sense since I'm almost elbow deep into my memoir piece. Of course, I read kids' books almost every night before bedtime for the girls. I am supposed to be reading The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd for my book club, but haven't picked it up, yet! (YIKES!) 4. The last book I read and completed for me: I am going to exclude writing books, because that is for work. The last one I can think of is Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz. OMG! What a ride. If you're scared of clowns, you may want to pass this one by, but I think it is a must-read. I'm not much into thrillers/mysteries and this was my first experience with Koontz. I was impressed! Kept me riveted throughout, and that is saying something. 5. Five books that mean a lot to me: Damn, this is the hard one, because it is too hard to narrow down to five. But, I will try: a. Ramona the Brave by Beverly Cleary. I can still remember this book being read to me when I was in 2nd grade. I couldn't wait until 2:30 every afternoon, so that I could find out what happened next. I had been read many books before this, but this was my first experience with chapter books. Plus, it's still funny, even today. Maybe that's because I have kids now. b. The Little House Books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I read the entire series so many times, I could practically recite chapters by memory. In my mind, I was Laura--I had the perfect life, was full of spunk and my days were filled with adventure. Yes, I liked the show, too. The books, though, touched someplace deep within me and I grew up with the characters. c. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. I read this book in the 8th grade. As a Civil War buff, it was simply one of the books I got my hands on about one of my favorite topics. Sure, I thought it was cool to carry around a book that was a few inches think (can you say, geek?! LOL), but it was the first great romance I ever read. This was my first venture into adult literature. d. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. One of my more recent reads. I literally finished it in a day. Put simply, this is the kind of writing I dream of finding within myself someday. Characters that the reader attaches to right away, plots that intertwine almost effortlessly, and a conclusion that pulls on the heartstrings a little. e. The Bible. Besides being the basis of my faith, it is just full of incredible stories. I've never read the book cover to cover, but I've always wanted to do that. Instead, I usually page through the books and see what stands out to me on a particular day. I wonder if going from beginning to end, in order, will change my experience with this incredible book? Ok, that's it. I won't tag anyone right now...because I'm a nice person. But, beware, you never know when I may strike.

Essay/Short Story: The Best Belated Birthday Present

Here's a little piece I wrote this morning after almost no sleep this morning. I'm not sure why it came out the way it did or why I like it, except that it seems to capture the memories just right. Maybe I just need to write on 3 hours of sleep! I did submit this to an edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul (for sisters). This story has been in my mind for a while and I finally typed it out today. I am also thinking of adapting this to a children's story (either just as a story or as a picture book manuscript). Any thoughts or comments are greatly appreciated! Thanks! ************************* The Best Belated Birthday Present “I’m going to have a baby sister! I’m going to have a baby sister!” my three-year-old daughter, Cailyn, screeched as she jumped around the room. I looked at my husband, Jon, who was uncertain about telling our only child that she was about to become an “oldest”. After a few moments more of practically flying through the house, Cailyn stopped short right in front of me. She reached her hand out and touched my stomach. “Is she in there?” I put my hand on top of hers and smiled. “The baby is growing inside of Mommy, yes. But, Cailyn, we don’t know if we’re having a boy or girl, yet. It’s too early.” With the certainty that only a three year old can have, she shook her head. “No,” she insisted. “My baby sister is growing in there, and she is coming on my birthday, because that’s what I want for my birthday present.” “Honey, the baby may be coming in February, but it’s not due until the end of the month,” explained Jon. “Your birthday is the 7th, so the baby will miss your birthday.” The small pair of grey eyes looked up at him, unfazed by his words. “She WILL be here on my birthday.” She folded her arms and went back to her paper and crayons. Jon and I shrugged our shoulders. Arguing with a child is pointless. Cailyn was convinced that she was getting a baby sister for her birthday. As the months went by, and the time for our ultrasound got closer, I secretly prayed for a girl: not because I really cared what kind of baby we’d have (other than healthy, of course), but I knew that Cailyn would be heartbroken if I wasn’t carrying her little sister. Sure, she would get over it, eventually; but going from an only child to a big sister is an enormous transition all on its own. If we had another girl, maybe our adjustment would be at least a little easier. I never told anyone of my wish, mostly because I thought it was selfish. On the day of the ultrasound, Cailyn was in preschool. Jon and I watched as the technician waved her wand over my goopy belly. The essentials were checked out first: heart, lungs, spine—all the good stuff. After what seemed like forever, she asked. “Do you want to know what you’re having?” I smiled up at Jon. We didn’t find out with Cailyn; we wanted it to be a surprise. “Yes,” we both answered immediately. Cailyn was right. A little sister was on the way. When picked her up from preschool early to tell her the news, Jon and I thought that we’d have another round of cheers and banging around the house. Instead, Cailyn raised an eyebrow at us and said in a serious voice. “See, I told you.” And here I thought that parents were the only ones to say “I told you so” to their kids. The pregnancy flew by, and with each week, Cailyn was our official countdown person. “Only two months until my birthday and my sister comes! Only one month now!” she’d announce. Paul Revere had nothing on this kid. Jon and I would both try to gently remind her that the baby would probably be a little late for her birthday, but her mind was made up. By the time early February 2002 came along, I started to hope that maybe Cailyn would be right. This baby was growing fast, my blood pressure was elevated and I had to leave work early to go on modified bed rest. I felt lousy. On one of my last visits to the doctor, I was informed I was already progressed to 3 centimeters. “But, it’s only the first week of February!” I replied. “I know,” Jen said, “But I wouldn’t worry too much. It could still be weeks. It is your second baby after all.” “Weeks?” I grumbled. Jen checked my blood pressure and wasn’t thrilled with what she was looking at. “Well, maybe not weeks. You could go as soon as this weekend. But, either way, I think we’re going to induce you. Your blood pressure isn’t going down.” She grabbed a calendar. “How does February 7th sound?” “NO!” I yelped, just about coming off the table. “That’s Cailyn’s birthday! They can’t have the same birthday.” Jen laughed—and I think it was at me, not with me. “All right, Marie. How about the 12th?” I sighed with relief and thanked her. I scooted off the table and waddled out of the office. Jon, who hadn’t said much during our visit, waited until we got into the elevator to speak up. “Maybe we should call your mom and tell her to come up.” At first, I was going to protest. I wasn’t going to be induced for a little over a week, and we had gone through two “false alarms” already up to this point. But, Mom lives in Vermont and it’s a 5 hour drive to Maine. I called as soon as I got home. “Can you come up a little early?’ “Sure. I’ll get there in time for Cailyn’s birthday. We can take her out to eat or something and then we’ll have a few days to get ready for this baby!” Nothing beats a grandmother’s excitement. On February 7th, all of us made a big deal out of Cailyn’s special day. We knew it would be her last hurrah as the only kid in the house. Cailyn decided that she wanted to go to the mall to her favorite restaurant for the big birthday dinner. Off we went and enjoyed some cheese sticks and pizza. Less than 30 minutes later, the contractions started. I shrugged them off at first, thinking they were just Braxton-Hicks again. It wasn’t until another 15 minutes went by that my mom noticed I wasn’t talking much, only breathing pretty funny. “Are you ok?” she asked. I nodded. “Sure.” Jon glanced sideways at me. “Are you having contractions?” “A couple,” I lied. They were about every five to seven minutes. Suddenly, everyone around me was packing up pizza, drinks, etc. “Where are we going?” I asked like an idiot. “Home, so you can call your doctor and get to the hospital,” Mom said in her classic ‘I’m a mother’ exasperated tone. Guess it doesn’t matter how old the child gets, the mom is still in charge. To pacify my husband and mother, I dialed the doctor on call, knowing for sure he’d tell me to just stay home and rest because this would pass like all the others. “Why don’t you come on in?” he instructed. Jon grabbed our packed bag and after Cailyn emerged from her room after changing for bed, we told her we were going to the hospital. “Is my sister coming?” she asked, her eyes sparkling. “I’m not sure, honey,” I answered. “But, we need to go.” “My birthday present is coming! I knew it! I knew it!” The zooming through the hallway started once again. We left our little rocket for grandma to deal with and went to the hospital. My labor was a lot longer than it was with Cailyn and I chuckled at the fact that for a baby who wanted to make her first appearance almost three weeks early, she sure was taking a long time about it. It wasn’t until Cailyn visited the next afternoon that things started to really happen. I had been plodding along slowly through labor, but from the moment Cailyn walked into the room, the baby started to rock and roll. The contractions came harder and faster, almost as if little sister was already trying to keep up with big sister. When the pain became too much, Mom brought Cailyn home, expecting to return the next morning since the baby probably wasn’t going to make an appearance before bedtime. Not 15 minutes after they left, everything changed. Did this baby know that her sister had left and was this her way to bring her back? Within an hour of Cailyn’s departure, I was pushing her sister into the world. Less than 5 minutes and only 3 pushes after we started, baby sister Erin was born at 6:51 pm on February 8, 2002. It didn’t take long for Cailyn to come back to the hospital. With flowers for me in one hand, and a stuffed ladybug in the other, she hurried into the room. Baby Erin lay in the hospital bassinet and Cailyn looked down upon her. She proudly wore a pink shirt that exclaimed “I’m the Big Sister!” She climbed up in the rocking chair that sat in the corner of the room and begged to hold her sister. Jon lifted Erin out of her bed and placed her in the small, waiting arms. “What’s her name?” she asked as she held the baby close to her chest. “Erin Alexis” I told her. Cailyn kissed the top of Erin’s pink, wrinkled forehead and spoke in hushed tones to her little sister. “Hi Erin. Happy Birthday to you. I think you’re still the best birthday present, even if you are a day late!”

I need more &*(&$#( time!!

I'm not sure how moms who have kids at home full time are able to get anything accomplished. With school now out for both of my girls, they've been home together all week. After only 4 days, they are already driving each other nuts. Fortunately, Cailyn starts day camp on Monday and Erin's sitter is back from vacation next week. I feel like a crappy mom and a snob sometimes, because the kids aren't home with me every day during the week. But, if it weren't for some alone time, I think all I'd have left of my house is some spare pieces of wood and a few roof shingles. So, kudos to the full-time moms at home! Working from home is a challenge. The girls don't understand that when I say, "I'm working", it means they shouldn't bother me. Trying to string coherent thoughts together, be it for work or my own manuscripts isn't easy when I have two kids yelling, "Mom! She...." or "Can I have a snack!" or "It's my turn now!" Still, I've managed to get some work done over the past day and a half. I have finally have a revised and "complete" chapter of my memoir. You can read it at this link: Click here to read "Visions" I posted a draft version of this a while back on the ol' blog, but it is redone and much more in-depth. I'd love to hear what you think, if you get the chance to check it out. Secondly, I am writing a column called "Raising Girls" on Suite101.com. No pay, but lots of exposure and a great way to keep me on my writing toes. Check it out at: Raising Girls I guess I just felt like I don't have enough on my plate right now. BWAH HA HA. Well, it's late and I am taking the girls to the library for story time in the morning and then to a picnic lunch with some friends. I guess I can be a good mom, once in a while...;)

The great outdoors...

It's important to note that I'm not really an "outdoor chick" at all. The closest thing to camping I'd probably enjoy now is a pop up camper, but I think that would be stretching it a bit. Still, I have found some great opportunities to take some nice shots while out and about lately. And, to be honest, two of these moments were right outside my door. Even I can handle that...
When we got home from our Father's Day dinner, Jon noticed this web on his car antenna. I'm arachniphobic, but spider webs are just too damned interesting not to look at. Once I determined that some big eight-legged beast wasn't going to jump out and attack, I grabbed the camera and took some shots. This was one of them. The evening breeze was starting to tear it up a bit, but Miss Spider's got some strong stuff in those spinnerettes, I guess.
And then there were three...Last year, we noticed one groundhog who lived right in between our property and what was once a vacant lot next door. As our new neighbors moved in (and built a huge house, btw) it seems that our nature friend has added to the family. I know they're rodents and all (ewww), but they were pretty cute scampering around the border of the yard.
This little guy has guts. His poor home gets spied on everyday and he has some of the loudest visitors one can imagine. Still, in spite of having over 25 kids screaming and pointing, Mr. Frog (of course, I'm only assuming it's Mr.; I didn't get close enough to find out for sure, as if I'd know how to figure that out) poked his head out to get a look at who was making all the noise. I just happened to be pointing the camera that way and snapped the shot. Jon loves this picture, so I decided to post it.

Photo study: Growing up so quickly...

It still seems so hard to believe that my girls are 7 and 3. Jon and I were talking yesterday that Erin is now the age Cailyn was when we found out I was pregnant again. Unreal. As most of you know, I've been playing around with my digital camera for a while and decided to post some pics. This first group is of my girls. Neither Jon nor I know where how they wound up so photogenic (both of us hate the camera!).
Don't they just seem to love each other so much? Ok, they do. But, lately, it seems like all they do is run/thump around the house, teasing and annoying the hell out of one another. Guess that's what I missed out on by being an only child. I suppose there's an upside to everything, right? LOL This shot was taken at Cailyn's end of year primary team trip to Maine Wildlife Park. Monday is Cailyn's last day of 1st grade!
When I saw Cailyn standing there, looking like this with her 'do rag' and my sunglasses, I had horrifying visions of her in about 5 or so more years. Still, I was moved to take the picture, mostly because there's Erin in the background...trying to keep up with all of them and so inquisitive--while Cailyn stands, looking bored and oh, so cool...
This shot was taken during a carnival in Auburn in May. It's Cailyn's first time on one of those Bungee rides. She had a blast and I about had a coronary. If it weren't for the fact that I had my camera, I would have been a mess. Somehow, though, looking at her through the lens made it easier to watch (maybe because it seemed like I was a step removed. That's my story, anyway...)
This is classic Erin. She was investigating some piece of nature near my parents' house in Vermont during April vacation. Fortunately, I had the camera with me and I got the shot. Erin sees the finer details in everything, sometimes to a fault. But, when she's like this, it makes me wonder what's ticking in that 3-year-old brain of hers.

There's always a first for a writer!

I know I haven't posted in ages. Yeah, I'm lame. Since returning from NYC, it's been a whirlwind here and I'm still processing a lot of what I got from there. For instance, one of the lessons I learned that I need to stretch out of my comfort zone/box a little and get my writing out to the masses more. I have my website, my blog and even my byline at the paper, but when it comes to my own manuscripts, I haven't done a lot. I'm considering starting a place that I can just put all of my own writing--maybe even just here. Anyway, I have submitted my work to a number of places (magazines, e-zines, writing groups). I'm very excited to say that one of my stories has been accepted at Long Story Short, a neat literary e-zine for women writers. I will be published in the July issue! My first original story (non-feature) to be "published!". Also, I was accepted into a great writing workshop group that I applied to online. The Writing Bridge was cited as one of Writing Digest top websites for writers. I hope to get the feedback and critiques I need to kick my writing up a level and move forward in my career. Taking risks does pay off sometimes.