Questioning faith

Each year around this time, ie Easter, I always question my faith and dedication to my religion. Occasionally, some of the ladies (and the two men who run the choir) will go out after choir rehearsal for some food, some drink and some laughs. I am considered the baby in the group--and it's not a position I am overly fond of sometimes. At 34, I don't feel like a kid, but there are many moments where our keyboardist, director or other choir members will refer to me that way. I'm "The Kid". My response is often, "Unless you're gonna change my name to Billy or make into some unknown prize fighter, knock that stuff off!" I digress a bit, sorry. Immature whine session is over now...;) Over the course of the conversation at the restaurant last evening, the four of us that were there were discussing our faith. I am a baptized Catholic (please, refrain from throwing vegetables). As a child, I was the only "active" member of my church. I was a freak. I enjoyed church. I found a sense of peace when I went. However, as I've grown older, I have more questions than anything else, the largest coming out of these doubts is: Am I truly faithful? I put a lot of stock in the concept of God. I'm not sure what he is--or even if "he" is the right pronoun to use. But, for the sake of consistency, I usually stick with He. I understand that the largest part of the concept of faith is to believe without seeing. I have seen some incredible things in my day, which most times confirms my belief in God. On the other hand, there are many things that occur, both in my life and in those around me, that make we wonder how a supreme being would allow the tragedies in life, both the big and the small. I don't advocate many of the basic tenets of Catholicism. I am pro-choice, although if it were me, under most circumstances I would keep a child. I've learned, though, that unless put in a situation, no one ever truly knows what she or he will do until a choice--no matter what it is about--is made. I am pro-birth control for many reasons, but the largest being that unless the church is going to come on over from Rome and help me feed and care for my "flock", then don't worry so much about whether I have 1, 5 or 12 children. I am anti-confession: I see a priest as a middle man. I'm not going to go to someone to tell them I screwed up and sinned (again), when God, who is supposed to be omnipresent, is right there with me when I blew it big time. I ask his forgiveness and/or the people I might have when I messed up...I atone for my mistake by taking responsbility for it with those I have hurt. I believe that God knows I screwed up; he's simply waiting for me to recognize that fact and touch base with him, one on one. Yet, I go to church most weeks, I sing in the choir and I believe strongly that my children should be taught the lessons I learned as I grew up in faith. I marvel at the stories of the Bible and the what they have to teach me. But, am I in the right place? Do I do my church a disservice by being there? What about myself? Am I a hypocrite? Yeah, Easter is always fun for me LOL. It makes me wonder, though, that if all of the people who claim that it is wrong to question God and his will are missing the mark a bit. Perhaps asking questions and/or having doubts doesn't make me less faithful, but more. I seek the truth, not to discredit my core beliefs, but to solidify them. Isn't that what God wants from all of us?