Strike Two...

If you read my earlier post from today, you'll know that my Mommy Morale was pretty low. I felt a little better after writing about it--sort of a purging, I guess. I got back to work and, knowing that Cailyn had a half day and that at least I wasn't causing my oldest any unnecessary angst.

About two minutes before I'm supposed to leave to pick up Cailyn at school, the phone rings. I almost ignored it in my rush to get out the door, but something made me stop and check the caller id:

City of Auburn...which only means one thing: Cailyn's school. Huh? Dismissal is just moments away.

"Hello, Marie, this is Kathy Arnoldy." (Cailyn's teacher)

So much for my day improving.

It seems as though my eldest child has been causing some commotion at school--for over a week! Acting up in class, not listening, and copping a major attitude.

The not listening and acting up is not unusual. Acting up for Cailyn is bluring out answers in her overzealous attempt to show her teacher how much she knows. It doesn't excuse her behavior, but it does explain it, and Kathy has always been very understanding and patient with Cailyn. I guess the addition of the attitude pushed things over the edge, and it has carried over to other classes like art.

So, I listened on the phone as Kathy described what's been going on--and she told me that Cailyn was standing right there so she could hear it--Cailyn was supposed to talk with me about what was going on in school. Based on the fact that I sounded shocked at this news, Kathy quickly figured out that I didn't get that update. I told her I'd be right down. When I picked Cailyn up, I set up a time for a conference with Kathy tomorrow morning.

I brought Cailyn home--she knew that we were due for a chat. After I cancelled a work appointment, we sat down.

She didn't seem very willing at first to tell me what was up her butt. At first, she talked about boys bothering her at school, but that sounded kind of lame to me...

In the end, she tearfully tells me that she's upset that I'm too busy with work to come volunteer anymore in her class.

Oh, my aching head....

During the fall, when business was very slow for me, I spent a lot of time in Cailyn's classroom. Ironically, I didn't work much with Cailyn while I was there, but it appears that my presence was what was appreciated the most. Since business has gotten crazy, I haven't been in her room for almost two months.

"You're too busy and I don't think you care anymore.." she cried.

I cried--again.

We had a long talk. I agreed that I would find time in my schedule to come in a few times a month, and she would work on her behavior and telling me when something is bugging her. I assured her that I love her very much, and that she's one of the most important things in my life.

I left teaching to spend more time with my kids. I reminded her of that, and the fact that I've never been a parent of an 8 year old girl. I said, "Sometimes I forget that just because you're a big kid, you still need me. I'm trying to balance giving you some independence and space with being there when you need me...I guess I still have a lot left to learn. I hope you'll help me out."

Cailyn also shared that she's pretty bored with the work she's doing in class, which again, comes as no big surprise. I've been waiting for the time when this would become a major problem in class. The dilemma is that Cailyn is ready for gifted work, but because she is acting out, there is some hesitation in putting her in a gifted classroom. I understand the dilemma, as a teacher. But, as a parent, I need to make sure that Cailyn's needs are being met, too. So, after Cailyn apologizes for her behavior during our conference, I'll talk with Kathy about the work issue.

All I can wonder now is, What Next??

I'm not sure I want to know that...at least not today.