Health Hysteria

[WARNING: This post deals with some gross, albeit not graphic, kiddie health and hygiene issues. If body functions and illness make you squicky, skip this post. If not, read and enjoy. It's a doozy...] Somehow, I think I mysteriously and secretly earned the equivalent of an MD from the moment I pushed my kids out of the womb. That is the only explanation I can think of that has enabled me to deal with all the bodily fluids, cuts, bumps, bruises and other things that my children have managed to expel, ingest, wedge or whatever else they can think to do with this stuff. Today was one of those days that I wonder how I manage to keep my own stomach in check--must have turned to iron over the years. First, let me say that Erin is having her tonsils and adenoids removed tomorrow morning at 7:30. Although surgery is never a great thing for a child (esp. one that's only 3), this procedure is greatly needed and I've been anxious for it to happen. I'm tired of having my daughter mistaken for Darth Vader when she breathes or as a buzzsaw when she sleeps. Poor kid! Big sis Cailyn had it done last year (age 5) and it was like a miracle for her. She slept through the night, is well rested and healthy now. Anyway, Erin decided that the past week was the PERFECT time to start potty training. Yes, the switch flipped and now she's peeing and (mostly) pooping on the toilet. This is great news, as I'm tired of dropping money on diapers and pull ups, but right before surgery? Not the best time to start. Still, she's determined. So, tonight, my mom arrives to help with the kids, as Jon (DH) is out of town for an extended trip. We take the girls to Applebees for dinner. Cailyn's looking pretty tired, but says she's ok. We get into the restaurant and she lays flat on the booth bench. Just as we're all sitting down, she sits up, points to her mouth and mumbles, "Sick." Somehow, I manage to yank her tall, 65 pound body up over the booth, while telling my mom "MOVE!". I rush her to the bathroom, half dragging/half carrying her there, where she almost makes it to the toilet before SPLAT...I won't go into any more details here. The cause? Carsickness... I get Cailyn cleaned up and apologize to the poor schmuck that has to clean up the mess (I did offer to help, btw). Cailyn's feeling all better and settles down next to my mom. Just as my butt hits the bench, a little voice speaks into my ear. "Mommy, I need to go potty. Now." SIGH. Yeah, and by the way, Mom's sitting there with this big grin on her face. Grrr.. So, off I go with Erin. The guy is still cleaning up when I walk in. He tells me it's closed. "Listen, I know my last kid made a mess, but if I promise this one won't puke, can I please have her go? She's training right now." Fortunately, the guy has a sense of humor (or just feels bad for me). For the record, Erin did her thing, got big cheers from all of us and I finally managed to get back to the table, where I needed a real stiff drink, but managed to only order a water with lemon. And, yes, I did manage to eat my dinner, too...Some may not be able to do that after dealing with puke, pee and poop all within a 10 minute timespan, but hey, I'm a mom. If I got grossed out easily, I'd never eat!!!