Let's Do the Time Warp....

I've had a few people ask me where the hell I've been. Right here. Nowhere. Take your pick. Honestly, I had no clue I had been away for so long. I think that there is some sort of time warp between Maine and Ohio. During the summer, it didn't get dark until almost 10pm. Now, the sun doesn't come up until just after 8am. Maybe we took a wrong turn and wound up in Scandanavia or Alaska--whichever one of those places have sunlight or darkness 24 hours/day, depending on the time of year. Between that and the fact that the calendar is now saying it's almost Halloween, I guess maybe I did fall down a hole and disappear for a while. But, hey, I've managed to crawl out of the hole and am back on firm ground. For an update on work, check out my website: www.marierossiter.com It has certainly been an up and down time for the ol' career. However, I can say with confidence that I am hitting some of the most creative strides in a long time. Taking on a "Novel in a Month Challenge can do that. Yep, 50,000 words in one month. I'm on track to finish the word count today, but still have LONG way to go with the draft. But, at least now I'm writing the book instead of talking about it. Funny how things work that way. Anyway, it's good to be back.

The Perks of My Job...

I've been writing for my area's largest newspaper for over three years now. During that time, I never called in any favors to get special access to events in the area. There are two good reasons for that.

1. It's friggin' Auburn, Maine. How many big concert or theatrical events pass through this metropolis? The closest "hotspot" is Portland, which is approximately 30 minutes away. Still, Portland isn't quite a must see for many famous acts.

2. I have no life. Really.

On the rare occasion where something is happening, I'm too stupid to realize that I can tap into my "vast resources" and try to get behind the scenes. The one classic example is the time I went to see the Boston Pops in Augusta two Decembers ago. For years, I've been a huge fan of the orchestra's conductor, Keith Lockhart. It wasn't until the day of the concert that my friend (who got the tickets for us) asked:

Hey, why didn't you get a press pass or something? You could have gone backstage!

I'm not sure I could have gotten a pass or even access, but the fact that I didn't even think about it raised my awareness of how dumb I can be at times. In the end, though, it was a good thing I didn't get backstage. I had just switched meds for my depression, so things were a little--uh, off kilter. Oh, and I had thrown my back and was taking back meds, which I had a violent reaction to about 10 minutes into the performance. If I had been granted a brief meeting, it probably would have turned out a little like this:

Publicity manager for Civic Center: Mr. Lockhart, this is the reporter we told you about. She just has a few questions for you before you go onstage.

Me: (drooling and half coherent) Smifnu greebok

Keith has me physically removed and my ass winds up in the parking lot in 15 below winds

Things turn out certain ways for a reason.

So, when I discovered in September that another act was coming to town --Lewiston to be exact!--on the first weekend of November, I sprang into action! I made some calls, arranged for an article for our paper, got publicity clearance, scored a personal interview via phone and got the grand prize...tickets and a backstage meeting! I felt pretty damn impressed with myself and my "connections".

So, after 3 years of hard work, here is the fruit of my labors:



My kids had a blast...

This time, Doodleboops, next time The Stones....

Maine: the way life SHOULDN'T be

When the phone rings at my house, we usually have a pretty good idea of who could be on the other end. Jon and I understand that we're not exactly what most people would call popular. Hey, I'd rather have good friends than a lot of lame ones, so I don't feel too badly about our social situation. So, when we get a call, there's a good bet that it's one of the following.
1. My mom 2. His parents 3. My best friend 4. Jon's work
Other friends will call, but the list above is pretty comprehensive. We do screen our calls because while we love most of the people on that list, there are just times that neither of us feel like talking to the family and many times that Jon simply doesn't want to put in more than the 80+ hours he already works.
This weekend, the phone rang quite a bit; Jon is starting a new project at work. As a result, when it rang late yesterday morning, we had a good idea who it was. Jon told me to answer it and tell whomever it was from the plant that he wasn't home. (Yeah, my DH asks ME to LIE for him!! Imagine that!) I grabbed the phone:
Me: (sounding a bit pissy because we were about to head out with the girls) Hello?
Voice: Yes, is Erin there, please?
Me: (looking at receiver in annoyance) Erin is my 4 year old daughter...can I help you?

Voice: Oh, uh...yes. This is Officer "Joe" with the Auburn Police Department. Oh man...um...Are you missing a purse by any chance?
Me: (staring at my wallet) I don't think so.
Officer: Well, Miss Rossiter, we have in our possession a purse that had a receipt indicating you daughter had a haircut last week.
Me: (starting to get a little freaked) Ok....
Officer: We believe that items may be missing from your car. You may not even know, yet.
(By this time, Jon and my mom, who is visiting for the weekend, are looking at me like I'm nuts. I mouth that I'm on with the cops. Naturally, they want to know what the police want with my kid. I mean,I know she can be a handful, but a police record at age 4 is a little much...)
Me: Uh....ok.
Officer: You should probably go outside and check. Then, just give me a call back, ok? Here's my number.
I hang up the phone, relay the info to my husband and my mother, who go outside to check.
My ipod: gone Erin's DVD player: gone Jon's CDs/DVDs, My CDs, some of Mom's CDs: gone Glove compartments ransacked, etc.
Son of a bitch....
I grew up in the NYC suburbs, so I've never considered myself some country hayseed who believes that bad shit doesn't happen. But, I guess I am more trusting than I thought because the cars were unlocked. Free Access Everyone!!!
God, what a dumbass I am.
My first reaction was shock. Then, I burst into tears: a combination of anger, fear,regret and, ultimately, violation.
Mom and Jon both said not to blame myself. Even my mom, who works for the friggin' NYS Corrections Dept managed to leave her door unlocked (something she NEVER does).
As of today, almost 40 complaints have been lodged with the APD.
Trying to explain to my 8 year old and my 4 year old why some people are assholes and rip other people off was fun. I think they were more freaked out by my crying than anything else. But, eventually, the reality sunk in.
Even in Maine, a state with a slogan of "Life: the way it should be", trust is a fleeting thing.
Things are replaceable. It's not the end of the world that an ipod or dvd player is gone.
Having to get into my car this morning and knowing that some strange, sick bastard(s) were pawing through my stuff and my kids' stuff is an experience that just shouldn't be.
Was I wrong to leave the car unlocked--yup. I learned my lesson.
It's still wrong that we were violated like that.
Earlier today, there was a knock at my door (which was carefully locked, btw). A local news crew shows up and asks if I'm willing to talk with them. This wasn't how I wanted my 15 minutes of fame. But, if it helps others learn the lesson of trust, but be wary, then I'll stand up in front of 5 cameras.
Among other things, I was asked if this event has changed my thoughts on the neighborhood. I don't recall how I answered exactly, but it was pretty close to this:
"No, it doesn't change my thought on this neighborhood at all. Just society, in general."

An important Public Service Announcement...

This is your brain on grass...

This is your brain about to get stomped on by giant, maniacal 8 year old.
Any questions??





This damn thing was growing on our lawn. Cailyn pointed it out the other day when we pulled into the driveway. "MOMMY!" she annouces so quietly and calmly. "THERE'S A GIANT MUSHROOM ON OUR LAWN!"

Sure, honey...

In my defense, my kids can weave a tall tale like few others I know. As a result, some days it's hard to tell when their stories are factual reports or just a crock of shit.

Well, apparently Mother Nature took a chapter out of Carroll's Alice in Wonderland and planted it right in my yard. After my daughter's repeated insistence, I went to check out the thing after dinner.

Me: (examining the toxic waste 'shroom) Holy shit, Jon! Come check it out!
Jon: (comes out front door and stares downward) That's.....
Me: (swears it's throbbing at her feet) a brain! Look at it!!!
(Jon laughs it off at first, but upon closer inspection gets a look of slight horror and recognition)
Jon: Well, that' where I left it....

Jon wanted to know if we should get rid of it.

"Hell, yeah! Before it consumes our home and sucks out our brains for nourishment!" I shout. Ok, so maybe I do know where my kids get the talent of exaggeration...

Big, strong, brave DH goes to the back porch to get a shovel. We figured that it would just break apart when he dug it up. Instead, it comes out fully intact...

You see why I was a little concerned?

Jon lifted it on the shovel and tossed it among the brush between us and our neighbors. We heard a loud thud and I swear the ground shook a little...

"Well," Jon says. "There goes a month's worth of salad for ya, babe."

For a moment, I thought of rooting in the shrubs for the wild vegetable...the Fryeburg Fair is coming up and I think I would have had a great chance at a blue ribbon.

We return to your regularly scheduled program...

I've returned from a month-long, unintentional break from the blog. Apparently, having two children at home for the summer cuts into computer time. Fortunately, they go back to school a week from today. Seven more days of being the entertainment coordinator/referee 24 hours a day.

I shouldn't complain, though. Overall, the girls have been good. They haven't killed each other, nor have I had to offer an offspring sacrifice to the summer gods. Between that and not having to up my meds, I consider that a success.

We just returned from a 10-day road trip to New York, Ohio and Vermont. Over the next few days, I'll share some of our "adventures" from our vacation. From the visit with the in-laws, to weddings and firedancers, and even to our run in with a fleabag hotel, it was a week and a half of ups and downs.

I was hoping for a "vacation from our vacation" this week. However, once the people I've freelanced for in the past discovered that not only was I back from vacation, but also that the girls were soon returning to school, they decided that it was high time I got off my lazy ass and got back to work after taking the summer "off". LOL So, work has kept me running the past 3 days. And, honestly, I'm glad. I've missed it.

Speaking of work, I need to get back to it. I'll try to post story #1 from our trip later on today. :)